Ukuvalwa kuvame ukubonakala njengendlela engafanele yomlingiswa, okubangela ukuphazamiseka okuningi kumnikazi wayo. Umuntu ovaliwe kunzima ukuxhumana naye, kwenza abantu abajwayele ukwazisa, abesabe abantu abangabazi, aguquke kabi eqenjini elisha, futhi akuthola kunzima ukuvula umphefumulo wakhe kwabanye. Futhi konke lokhu akunjalo kusukela othandweni lokuzimela: ngezinye izikhathi abantu abanjalo banesifiso sokuxhumana nabanye, okuwukuphela kwalokhu kunenkinga.
Izimbangela zokuzihlukanisa
Izazi zengqondo zibhekwa njengenkinga yobuntwana. Ngakho-ke, njengomthetho, abanye abantu bayathokozeka futhi bakhululwe, kuyilapho abanye - benamahloni futhi behoxiswa. Noma kunjalo, ingane ikhula, futhi izinkinga zikhula naye, futhi ngokuvamile isizungu nokuzihlukanisa kuyahambisana.
Ngokuvamile, izingane zivalelwe ngokwabo ngenxa yezimpikiswano eziningi zabazali ezenzeka ngaphambi kwamehlo akhe. Futhi uma umntwana ekhanga nakwezinye izikhwama ezinjalo, izinkinga zingaba zimbi nakakhulu. Ingane ingazama ukungabonakali, ukufihla, ukubhekana nezinkinga zokuxhumana. Ukuze uvimbele lolu hlobo lokuzihlukanisa, ngokuvamile kuvame ukwenza ngcono i-microclimate emndenini.
Lezo zingane ezihlupheka ngenxa yokungakwazi ukukhulumisana zikhula kakhulu. Izingane ezazihlala zizungezwe ezinye izingane zihamba njalo zihamba ngezinyawo noma ziya enkulisa, njengombuso, azikho izinkinga ezinjalo. Kodwa uma ingane ichitha isikhathi esiningi nabantu abadala abahlale bematasa ngezindaba zabo siqu, futhi, nakakhulu, bayisunduza ingane, ngakho ukuhlukaniswa kuyindlela ecacile kakhulu ekuthuthukiseni imicimbi. Ujwayele iqiniso lokuthi akekho omkhathalelayo, futhi ujwayele ukudlala naye.
Kungcono ukuqala ukulungiswa kokuhlukaniswa noma ngabe isibonakaliso sokuqala sibonakala - ingane yenqaba ukuxhumana nabazali kanye nanoma ubani omunye. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukwesaba abantu abangajwayelekile kanye nezinkinga ezinkulu esikhathini esizayo kungathuthuka. Kwezinye izimo, usizo lwe-psychologist liyadingeka.
Ungasusa kanjani ukuhlukaniswa?
Ngeshwa, ayikho impendulo eyodwa kumbuzo wendlela yokunqoba ukuzihlukanisa. Okokuqala udinga ukuzama ukuthola ukuthi ivelaphi, nini nokuthi iqhubeka kanjani futhi nini. Uma izinkinga zivela ebuntwaneni obujulile, cishe cishe ngaphandle kosizo lwe-psychoanalyst ngeke ukwazi ukubhekana nazo.
Ngokuvamile isimo esinjalo singahlotshaniswa nezinkimbinkimbi zakho. Isibonelo, ukuphelela nokuzibandakanya kuqala ekubonweni okuhlobene, kodwa empeleni konke kunzima kakhulu: ngenxa yokwesaba ukulahla, usuhoxiswa kuwe. Kulesi simo kubalulekile ukulwa nezinkimbinkimbi, futhi ngalendlela ukuze kunqobe ukungabi nokuxhumana kwabo.
Ngokuvamile amantombazane, ngisho nalabo ababukeka kahle kakhulu, abakwazi ukubona lokhu, futhi ngenxa yalokhu bavame ukunciphisa ukuxhumana kwabo. Kulesi simo, udinga ukushintsha ukubukeka, yenza konke ukuqinisekisa ukuthi kukufanisa ngangokunokwenzeka, bese ukuhlukaniswa kwakho kuzokwenyuka ngokwakho.
Ziqaphele, isibonelo, shintsha isitayela sakho sezinwele noma wenze umuthi womuntu, yenza imaski yokuzicabangela - konke lokhu kuzokunika kancane kancane ukuzethemba ekubukeni kwakho. Unganqikazi ukugqoka izingubo ezinhle, ungazigqoki u-turtleneck othobekile
Noma yikuphi umuntu oxhumana kalula nalabo abathandayo abafana nabo. Ngakho-ke, isinyathelo esiphoqelekile ukubamba iqhaza kunoma yikuphi ukumbuthana, ukuhambela noma yiziphi izifundo noma amakilasi. Lapho ungathola abantu abanomqondo ofanayo futhi uxhumana nabo kalula. Futhi ngemva kokuthi umjikelezo wakho wokuxhuma uzokwanda kakhulu, kuzoba lula kuwe ukuthi uxhumane nabanye abantu.
Indlela ebukhali kakhulu, kodwa ephumelelayo yokunqoba ukuvalwa, ilele ekuqothulweni okuqaphelayo ngokwesaba. Uma wesaba ukukhuluma nomfokazi, sondela kubantu emgwaqweni bese ucela isikhathi. Uma unganqikazi ukujwayele-ukwenza okusemthethweni kumasayithi okuphola. Ukwenza lokho okwesaba ngaphambili, unqobe ukwesaba kwakho.