Kwenye umzekeliso odumile kuthiwa umuntu unikezwa izindlebe ezimbili nomlomo munye, lokhu kusho ukuthi abantu kufanele balalele ngaphandle kokulalela. Kubalulekile ukuba umuntu azwe, aqonde, futhi alalele kabanzi - izinto eziningi nezimfihlo ziqondwa. Ukulalela ngokuqinile yindlela ezuze ukuthembela phakathi kwengqondo yezokwelapha ngenxa yokusebenza kwayo nokulula.
Iyini ukulalela okusebenzayo?
Ukulalela okusebenzayo noma okuzwakalayo kuyindlela eyenziwa yi-American psychotherapist, umdali wezengqondo ezithinta abantu uKarl Rogers walethe ku-psychotherapy. Ukulalela ngokuqinile ithuluzi elisiza ukuzwa, ukuqonda imizwa, imizwelo ye-interlocutor, uqondise ingxoxo ngokujula futhi usize umuntu ukuba asinde futhi aguqule isimo sakhe. ERussia, le nqubo yasungulwa futhi yafakwa ngezingqikithi ezihlukahlukene ngenxa yengqondo yengqondo Yu Yu Gippenreiter.
I-Empathic ilalela ekucwaningweni kwengqondo
Izindlela zokulalela ngokuzikhandla kwengqondo yezokwelapha zisiza ukwakha ngokuvumelana ingxoxo, ukuthola insimu izinkinga zamakhasimende futhi ukhethe ukwelashwa okufanele umuntu ngamunye. Ekusebenzisaneni nezingane - lokhu kuyindlela engcono kakhulu, ngoba ingane encane ayiboni futhi iyazi imizwa yabo. Ngesikhathi ezwa ukuzwelana, lo mhlukumezi uyaphuma ezinkingeni zakhe, okuhlangenwe nakho kwengqondo futhi egxile ngokuphelele esigulini.
Izinhlobo zokulalela ezilalelayo
Izinhlobo zokulalela okusebenzayo zihlukaniswe ngokomzimba zibe yindoda nabesifazane. Izici zezinhlobo ngasinye:
- Ukulalela kwabantu okusebenzayo - kuthatha ukuzindla futhi kusetshenziselwa imibuthano yebhizinisi, izingxoxo ebhizinisini. Ulwazi olutholakala ku-interlocutor luhlaziywa ngokucophelela kusuka emaceleni ahlukene, imibuzo eminingi ecacisayo iyabuzwa, njengoba amadoda ahlose umphumela. Lapha ukugxekwa okufanele futhi okunengqondo.
- Ukulalela okusebenzayo kwabesifazane . Ngenxa yomzwelo wemvelo nokuhlala okukhulu kwemizwa - abesifazane bavulekile kakhulu futhi banesihawu esikhulu: ukuba ne-interlocutor ndawonye, abathintekayo kuye enkingeni yakhe. Uzwela alukwazi ukugoqa-luzwakala omunye umuntu futhi lumbangela ukuba athembele ukuze azenzele. Kusetshenziselwa amasu okukhuluma okukhulunywa ngabesifazane, ukugcizelela imizwa nemizwelo.
Inqubo yokulalela okusebenzayo
Ukulalela ngokuqinile kuyinkambiso futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo inqubo yokugxila kunomunye umuntu, lapho zonke izicabha nezimo ezibucayi zicatshangelwa engxoxweni: ukubonwa kwezwi, intonation, isibonakaliso sokubukeka, ukuzithokozisa nokuyeka okungazelelwe. Izingxenye eziyinhloko zendlela yokulalela okusebenzayo:
- Ukungathathi hlangothi . Gwema ukuhlolwa, ukugxekwa, ukulahlwa. Ukwamukela nokuhlonipha umuntu njengoba kunjalo.
- Ukuthakazelelwa . Umoya ozolile nesimo sengqondo kumxhumanisi, ukumkhuthaza ukuba aqhubeke ekhuluma ngaye, inkinga - ukufaka isandla ekuphumuzeni nasekuthembeleni.
- Inzalo eqotho . Enye yezinto ezibaluleke kakhulu zethonya endleleni yokulalela okukhuthele, kusiza umuntu ukuba avule ngokugcwele futhi acacise isimo senkinga
Izindlela zokulalela okusebenzayo
Izindlela zokulalela okusebenzayo ziyizici eziningi futhi zihlukahlukene. Ku-psychology ye-classical, kunezinkambiso ezinhlanu eziyinhloko zokulalela okusebenzayo:
- Ikhefu . Kubalulekile ukuthi umuntu akhulume kuze kube sekupheleni kanye nokuyeka okudingekayo engxoxweni. Lokhu akusho ukuthi udinga ukuthula ngaso sonke isikhathi: i-poddakivanie ("yebo", "hugo"), ikhanda lokugcoba yizimpawu zomuntu abamlalelayo.
- Ukucaciswa . Ukuze uthole amaphuzu angacacile, ukucacisa imibuzo kusetshenziselwa ukugwema ukucabangela isimo futhi ukuqonda kangcono i-interlocutor noma iklayenti.
- Ukuphawula . Indlela lapho ozwayo ephindiselwa kwisiphakamiso ngesifushane bese evumela ukuthi umxhumanisi aqinisekise ukuthi "yebo, konke kunjalo", noma ukucacisa nokucacisa amaphuzu abalulekile.
- Isitatimende se-Echo (ukuphindaphindiwe) - "ukubuya" kwemishwana ku-interlocutor ngendlela engashintshi - umuntu uyaqonda ukuthi ulalele ngokucophelela (ungasebenzisi kabi le ngxoxo engxoxweni).
- Ukuzindla kwemizwa . Imisho ehambisana nalokho okuhlangenwe nakho komuntu isetshenziselwa: "Uthukuthele ...", "Ngaleso sikhathi kwaba buhlungu kakhulu / ujabule / buhlungu kuwe."
Imithetho yokulalela okusebenzayo
Izimiso zokulalela ngokugcwele zihlanganisa izingxenye ezibalulekile, ngaphandle kwalokhu le nqubo ayisebenzi:
- i-interlocutor ayikwazi ukuphazanyiswa;
- umbuzo owawubuzwa ucindezela impendulo kuwo, akunconywa ukuphendula noma ukusiza ngempendulo, i-interlocutor ngokwakhe kumele iphendule lo mbuzo - umuntu kumele agcine isikhashana;
- ukuxhumana okubukwayo kulo lonke ingxoxo;
- impendulo ebalulekile: ukwesekwa, ikhanda lokunquma;
- lapho uhlala nomzwelo onobudlova, obubi , kubalulekile ukumvumela ukuba awalahle ngaphandle aze ayeke.
Ukuzivocavoca kokulalela okusebenzayo
Amasu okulalela ukulalela asebenza ekuqeqesheni kwengqondo, ngamaqembu. Inhloso yokuzivocavoca ukufunda ukuzwa okunye, ukugqamisa izindawo zenkinga ongasebenza ngazo. Umqeqeshi uhlukanisa amaqembu abe ngababili futhi unikeza umsebenzi-umzimba ongahluka:
- Ukuzivocavoca ukulalela okusheshayo okusheshayo . Umqeqeshi unikeza amalungu amathathu eqenjini izihloko ezihlukahlukene eziphrintiwe, uzwa imizuzu emithathu, ngesikhathi lapho okufundwayo kufundwa ngabahlanganyeli abathathu ngesikhathi esisodwa. Umsebenzi wabafundi: ukuzwa lokho okunye okubili okufundayo, amanye amalungu eqembu kufanele azwe futhi aqonde ukuthi yiziphi zonke izihloko eziphathelene nazo.
- Ukuzivocavoca ikhono lokuthola emazwini e-interlocutor ngobuqotho noma e-finesse . Umqeqeshi unikeza amakhadi ngemishwana ebhalwe kuwo. Umsebenzi wabahlanganyeli ukushintshanisa ukufunda imisho yabo futhi bangacabangi ngokuqhubeka nokulandisa okuvela kubo, ukuthuthukisa umcabango. Abanye abahlanganyeli balalele ngokucophelela futhi bagcine: umuntu uqotho noma cha. Uma lezi zitatimende ziqotho, abanye bakhulisa ngesibindi isandla sabo ukuthi bavumelane, uma kungenjalo, umhlanganyeli uyamenywa ukudweba ikhadi futhi bese uzama futhi. Imisho ekhadini ingaba kanje:
- uma bememeza, ngilungile ...
- ngezinye izikhathi ngimane nginobugovu, ngisanda ...
- Ngineziphambeko zami ...
- ngokwalo ngiyathanda ...
- Ngicasuliwe kubantu ...
- ikhadi elingenalutho (ukutshela ngobuqotho ukuthi yini efika engqondweni okwamanje).
Izimangaliso zokulalela okusebenzayo
Ukulalela i-Empathic kuyindlela yokwenza izimangaliso. Ubuchwepheshe bokulalela okusebenzayo kulula ukuyisebenzisa futhi kudinga ukunakwa kuqala. Uma usebenzisa indlela emndenini, kwenzeka izinto ezimangalisayo:
- iminyaka edlulayo yokulwa;
- Ukuxhumana okuqotho nokujulile phakathi kwabazali nezingane kwakha;
- endlini kukhona isimo sokufudumala nokwamukela amalungu omndeni womunye nomunye.
Amabhuku okulalela okusebenzayo
Ukulalela okusebenzayo nokuzilalelayo - zombili lezi zindlela kubhekwa njengendlela ephumelelayo ku-psychotherapy futhi zanelisa. Ukuqala kwengqondo kwengqondo nanoma ubani ofuna ukuqonda abantu, ukwakha ubudlelwane obuqotho - izincwadi ezilandelayo zizosiza:
- "Funda ukulalela" uMnu Moskvin . Encwadini yakhe, umsakazo odumile womsakazo utshela izindaba futhi ukhuluma ngokubaluleka kokulalela i-interlocutor yakhe.
- "Amandla okulalela. Ikhono lomphathi oyinhloko »Bernard Ferrari . I-annotation ithi abasebenzi abangama-90% nezinkinga zomndeni bangasombulula ngokulalela okusebenzayo.
- "Izimangalo zokulalela okukhuthele" Yu. Gippenreiter. Ukufunda ukuzwa nokulalela abathandekayo bakho kuyisiqinisekiso sobuhlobo obuvumelanayo emndenini.
- "Awukwazi ukutshela umlaleli. Okunye ekulawuleni okunzima »Ed. UShane . Ukukhulumisana okuphumelelayo akunakwenzeka ngaphandle kokubheka imithetho emithathu: inkulumo encane, ukubuza ngobuhlakani imibuzo, ukubonga ukubonga.
- "Ubuciko bokukhuluma nokulalela" M. Adler . Le ncwadi iphakamisa izinkinga zokuxhumana. Ukulalela kuyisici esibalulekile sokuxhumana phakathi kwabantu. Le ncwadi inikeza izincomo eziwusizo namasu ayisisekelo wokulalela okusebenzayo.