Emibhangqwaneni eminingi, ukungathembeki kuba yimbangela yegebe, ngezinye izikhathi umyeni uthi unqume ukushiya umndeni, ngezinye izikhathi umfazi ufuna isahlukaniso. Futhi yini okufanele uyenze uma umyeni eshintsha, kodwa engahambi? Ukukhuthazelela lesi simo sengqondo noma ukuthola indlela yokukhipha umyeni wakhe?
Indoda ishintsha, kodwa ingashiyi, yenzeni?
Ngeshwa, abesifazane abaningi bazi isimo lapho umyeni eshintsha, kodwa ukushiya isidleke somndeni akuxazululwe. Abanye abafazi abazi ukuthi abayeni babo bahamba njalo bavumelana nalokhu, ngoba abafuni ama-scandals noma kulindeleke ukuba bazise lo muntu ukuthi bayamthanda ngempela. Akudingeki ukuthi ukuthi isimo sengqondo esinjalo ngeke siholele lutho oluhle? Indoda yalokhu kuziphatha ngeke yazise futhi izoqhubeka nokuya kwindlovukazi yakhe. Kulesi simo, akudingeki ukuthi ashintshe noma yini, uyaneliswa yizo zonke izinto - uzothola ubulili nokuphumula kwendlovukazi yakhe, futhi umkakhe uzohlinzeka ngokudla okuhle nokugqoka izingubo ezihlanzekile. Ngakho-ke, asikho isidingo sokugcwalisa izifiso zakhe, indlela ewukuphela yendlela ephumelelayo kuyoba ukufaka i-divorce yehlukaniso. Ngisho noma umyeni ethi uzoziyeka, ungalindeli aze avuthwe, aphakamise ingxoxo ngesahlukaniso. Futhi ungathokozi ukuthi umyeni ushiye, kodwa engakaze ahlukanise. Inqubo ingadonsela isikhathi eside, kepha ngenkathi le nsizwa ukuthi inendawo yokubuyela emuva. Futhi uzokwenza lapho exabana nenkosikazi yakhe. Udinga indoda eyakubangele ukuhlupheka okukhulu, wazibiza endlini njengomphathi, wathi ungumyeni osemthethweni, ngakho-ke unamalungelo? Uma kungenjalo, ungadonisi ngesehlukaniso, qonda ukuthi lobu buhlobo bukuvimbela ukuthi ungathokozi, umyeni wakho akuyona indoda yokugcina eshiye emhlabeni, okusho ukuthi ngokuqinisekile uzothola umuntu oyokujabulela.
Indlela yokwenza umyeni wakhe ahambe?
Unqume ukuthi awusasakwazi ukuhlala nomthengisi, ngakho-ke kufanele uhambe nomyeni wakho ukuba ashiye. Kodwa ungayenza kanjani ukuba ihambe?
- Ucabanga ukuthi kufanele kwenziwe kanjani ukuze indoda ishiya? Indlela ecacile kakhulu ukuxoxa nengqikithi nomngane wakho womshado. Udinga ukumchazela ukuthi kungani ufuna isahlukaniso, ukuthi awuboni iphuzu lokucabangela umndeni. Hlala kude nezinyembezi, amahlaya, izinkumbulo zazo zonke izikhalazo - lokhu kungaba yisizathu sokuhlukunyezwa, noma ukuvusa ukuzisola okudabukisayo kumyeni wakhe. Akukho okunye noma okunye okudingayo. Umyeni angakwazi futhi uyazi ukuthi unecala phambi kwakho, kodwa ngeke ashintshe, umhlangano nenkosikazi yakhe uzoqhubeka. Futhi amadoda amaningi awawuthathi izinyembezi zabesifazane futhi akhala ngokungathí sina, ecabanga ukuthi bonke abesifazane besifazane ohlambalazayo bayomemeza bese bezolile.
- Uma le ndlela ingasizi, futhi umyeni usengafuni ukukushiya wedwa, uyamenza kanjani ahambe? Ungazama ukusinda kusukela efulethini, kodwa amakrayrayoni afana namahembe angcolile kanye ne-borscht usawoti ngeke akwenze. Kubalulekile ukuba uphile njengokungathi akusekho empilweni yakho. Mphathise njengomuntu ohlala kuyo - ziqaphele wena kuphela. Ukudla kuphela wena nabantwana, ukugeza izinto zakho kuphela, ukuhlanza kuphela ekamelweni lakho, lapho uzolala khona wedwa. Shayela abangani nabangani, ungayinaki umbono wakhe. Masiqonde ukuthi kanye
uhlala impilo yakhe, khona-ke uzokwenza okufanayo. Futhi kulokhu, futhi, kudingeka ugcine kusuka emahlakalweni, indoda kufanele ibone ukuthi lokhu akuyona into yakho embi, kodwa isinqumo esinenjongo. - Enye indlela yokulahla umyeni wakhe ukuqoqa zonke izinto zakhe bese uwabeka ezinyathelweni, futhi ushintshe ukukhiya ngenkathi esebenza noma othandekayo wakhe. Kodwa lezi zilinganiso ziyizinto ezinkulu, futhi asikwazi ukwenza ngaphandle kwamahlazo. Futhi uma umyeni futhi engumnikazi (umnikazi womnikazi) wezindlu, izenzo ezinjalo zingekho emthethweni, ngakho-ke inqubo yesehlukaniso ingaba nzima. Ngakho-ke, kuwufanelekile ukuzama ukuxazulula le ndaba ngokuthula, nokuphonsa izinto emgqeni kuphela emva kwesinqumo senkantolo.