Ngenxa yokuhlukana phakathi kwamadoda nabesifazane, kunzima kakhulu ukuba siqondane. Sibonakala sikhuluma ngezilimi ezahlukene, futhi ngezinye izikhathi ngenxa yokungaqondani kukhona izikhalazo nobuhlobo nabantu abaluleke kakhulu kithi. Ngakho-ke, ukuxhumana ngokuphumelelayo namadoda nasemisebenzini yobuchwepheshe, nasemndenini okudingeka ukwazi ukuthi uyayiqonda kanjani indoda.
Psychology of men - kanjani ukuwaqonda?
- lo muntu ucabanga ngesibindi, eveza umphumela wokugcina wokucabangela, futhi bacasulwa lapho owesifazane eveza yonke imicabango ngokuzwakalayo;
- usanda kunquma ukwabelana ngezinkinga, futhi le ndoda ikubona lokhu njengokushaya ucingo;
- amadoda agxile emgomweni othize futhi acasulwa lapho owesifazane ehlukana nesihloko sengxoxo;
- ngenkathi ekhuluma okuthile, indoda idinga isikhathi sokuphendula;
- amadoda aphikelela futhi anesibindi, aziqaphele ngokwabo, avikele imibono yabo;
- bavame ukuzenza izenzo ezingahlosiwe;
- ukulawula kangcono imizwelo yabo, ukufihla ubuthakathaka, ukuthuka okuthukile nokuhluleka kwabo;
- bheka isithombe sonke ngaphandle kokubona imininingwane;
- engazi kahle imizwa abesifazane abayibona njengomzamo wokugwema ingxoxo, futhi bacabangele amadoda engacabangi;
- ungabonisi imizwa futhi ngokuvamile badinga isikhathi sokuqonda umhlaba wabo wangaphakathi. Impendulo yombuzo, indlela yokuqonda ukuthi umuntu uzizwa kanjani, uzokwenza-ukwethemba izenzo, hhayi amagama, ngale ndlela kuphela ongahlulela isimo sengqondo somuntu kuwe;
- ziqondile, futhi aziqondi amacebiso abesifazane. Cabanga ngalokhu, futhi kuwe ngeke kube yimfihlo indlela yokuqonda kangcono indoda.
Ekusebenzelaneni nendoda, kungenzeka kube nenkinga, njengesidingo sokuqonda ukuthi uphukile. Uma indoda ihlambalaza-ke kuyingozi kakhulu. Uzohlala ethule futhi angeke acele ukucela intethelelo, kodwa angaya kumaqembu kanye nabangane bakhe, efakazela ukuthi yena uqobo nguye ongcono kakhulu. Ngokuphathelene nomonile, ngokushesha ubonisa ukucasuka, angamemeza futhi ahlambalaze.
Ukuqonda kanjani lokho umuntu akufunayo?
- umlalele, angakwazi ukusikisela lokho akudingayo. Isibonelo, uyaphinda ukuthi osebenza naye unolwazi lwe-classy - kungenzeka ukuthi ufuna okufanayo;
- bheka uma ebona abadobi bebubula ngokudabukisayo - ngokusobala, wayefuna inhlanzi noma inhlanzi. Uma udlula esitolo bese eqa ukuze ubuke icala lokubonisa ngethebulethi - lokho kusho ukuthi uyaziqhenya;
- uma ubheka ubuso obukhathazekile phambi kwakho futhi engekho nawe futhi akalaleli ngempela-ke izinketho ezimbili: noma ngabe ukhathele kakhulu futhi akakwazi ukulinda ukuphumula, noma awunandaba naye futhi ufuna ukuqeda ingxoxo ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka;
- uma indoda ifuna owesifazane - ingase iqondwe ngemivimbo esheshayo, ukuqhuma, ukuphefumula okusheshayo kanye nabafundi abahlanjululwayo, noma kuyobe ibanga nezinyathelo ezisebenzayo.
Ukwazi ukuxazulula izimfihlo zamadoda, uzobona ukuthi kulula kangakanani ukuqonda ukuziphatha komuntu.
Ukuqonda kanjani umuntu futhi yiziphi izimfihlo zakhe?
- Abantu bazonda ukuzizwa bengalungile, ikakhulukazi becasulayo lapho abesifazane bebabona kuqala bephutha. Esimweni esinjalo, okokuqala, ukuzethemba komuntu kuhlupheka.
- Amadoda ayithandi uma owesifazane ekhathazekile noma ecasulwa, khona-ke uzizwa ehlazekile futhi engenasici, njengoba engakwazi ukusondela kuye ngoba akaqondi imizwelo nemizwa. Ngakho-ke, ungabi ngowesifazane, ukulinda ukuzwelana, indoda idinga ukusho ngokuqondile ukuthi kufanele yenzeni.
- Amadoda azibona ngokwabo emisebenzini futhi bakuthola kunzima ukushintsha ukunaka emicabangweni kuya emizweni. Uma enenkinga emsebenzini, akakwazi ukuzwa. Ukwazi lokhu
isici se-psychology yesilisa, ungaphendula umbuzo wokuthi ungaqonda kanjani umuntu. - Amadoda athande ukufundisa futhi avame ukuthandana nabesifazane abababona njengabaqondisi.
- Amadoda afana nabesifazane abahlakaniphile nabanqumile. Kodwa bashada nabesifazane abavumela ukuba bahole emndenini, bazizwe bebaluleke kakhulu.
Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, uma unakekela othandekayo wakho, indoda izoyeka ukuyimfihlakalo. Kodwa ungacabangi ukuthi ungaqonda kanjani amagama omuntu - bheka izinto.