Akekho owesifazane ofuna ukudumazeka othandweni. Kodwa ukuze ugweme lokhu, udinga ukwazi ukuthi ungabona kanjani umanizer. Phela, ubudlelwane obunjalo nomuntu onomoya omoya ngeke bulethe lutho kodwa ubuhlungu nokufutheka.
Indlela yokuqaphela umanikazi ngokuziphatha kwakhe?
Indlela eqinisekile yokugwema ubudlelwane nomuntu onjalo ukucacisa ngokuziphatha kwakhe ngesikhathi sokuthandana ukuthi ungumfazi. Ukwenza lokhu kunzima kakhulu, ngoba umanizer uzama ukwakha ubudlelwane ngendlela yokuthi intombazane ayiqondi imigomo yakhe. Kodwa, noma kunjalo, kunezibonakaliso ezisiza ukukhomba umanizer, lapha ziyizi:
- Ukuziphatha ngokweqile komuntu lapho umhlangano kufanele uqaphele owesifazane. Ngokuvamile, lo mfana uyamahloni ukuza nokukhuluma nentombazane ayithandayo. Ngakho-ke, ukuphikelela okuqhubekayo ngisho nokuziphatha okungenangqondo kungabonakalisa ukuthi indoda inesithakazelo kuphela kowesifazane "njengesisulu esivamile" futhi ayitholi lutho ngaphandle kwesithakazelo socansi. Ukusikisela ukuthi awunasithakazelo ebuhlotsheni obunye ubusuku, kungasisiza ekuqapheleni ukuthi ungabona kanjani umlingani womuntu, kodwa nokugwema ubudlelwane obungadingekile.
- Izambatho ezikhanyayo kanye nokufakwa ohlwini okubonisa ukufaneleka kwazo engxoxweni yokuqala kungabuye utshele intombazane ukuthi le ndoda ngeke ithole ubudlelwane obude nesikhathi esibucayi. Amadoda anjalo kaningi abahlaziyi bama-narcissists, okusho ukuthi bazozama ukuheha abantu babo ngendlela ekhona.
- Ukuncoma kwangempela nezinsuku ezingalibaleki . Yiqiniso, lokhu kungabuye kukhulume ngomuntu, kodwa isikhathi esiningi abantu abazi ukuthi baziphathe kanjani nentombazane abayithandayo, ngakho-ke uma umuntu ekunikezela ngokuncoma okungavamile, kufanelekile ukucabanga ukuthi usebentisa izikhala "ekhaya".
- Ukungathandi ukwethula intombazane kubangani bakhe nezihlobo zakhe . Uma lo mbhangqwana ubulokhu uthandana isikhathi esingaphezu kwezinyanga ezingu-1-2, kuvamile ukuba intombazane ikwazi okungenani abangane abambalwa bendoda yakhe. Uma lo mfana egwema ngokucophelela ukuthi owesifazane uhlangana nabangane bakhe, lokhu kungase kube izibonakaliso zesimo sengqondo esingenangqondo.