Emphakathini wethu kuyisiko ukucabanga ukuthi iningi lalabafana abaneminyaka engamashumi amabili kakade banesipiliyoni socansi. Kodwa-ke, lokhu akunjalo kubo bonke abantu, futhi umfana angaba intombi ngisho nangama-25, okungamvimbeli ukuba abe mnandi, futhi uphumelele. Akuwona wonke amantombazane alungele lesi simo, futhi abaningi nje abazi ukuthi benzeni uma umfana engumfana.
Wonke umuntu waqala ukuya ocansini okokuqala , kodwa ngamadoda abe namahloni ngobuntombi bawo, kanti asebekhulile ababa, ikakhulukazi ubakhathazeka. Kungaba nokuqiniseka okugcwele ukuthi impilo eqhubekayo yobulili yintombi isemapheneni angenangqondo yowesifazane wayo wokuqala. Ukukhalipha nokuqapha - lezi yizimfanelo okumelwe ziboniswe uma usebenzisana nomfana ongenalo ulwazi lwezocansi. Ungamangali uma ufunda ukuthi umfana oneminyaka engu-20 uyintombi, vele uthathe kalula.
Indlela yokubona umfana ovela kumfana?
Akunzima, ngokuvamile abantu abanjalo banothando futhi banesibindi, abangeke bathambekele ekukhulumeni ngezihloko zocansi, musa ukucela "ikhofi ikhofi" kusihlwa sokuqala.
Izimbangela zobuntombi besilisa zingahluka:
- umfana angakwazi ukunamathela kumbono wokuthi ucansi olungenalo uthando alinakwenzeka, ngakho-ke linda "okuwukuphela kwakho" futhi okufunwa kakhulu, ukuze umnike;
- mhlawumbe, amadoda anenkimbinkimbi ngobukhulu bepenisi , ukuma kwawo, ngenxa yobukhona bokuzalwa, ukoma;
- ukwehlisa ukuzethemba kungase kube yimbangela yobuntombi besilisa, ngisho nangamadoda angaphandle abazethemba;
- ukungabi nesithakazelo kwezocansi kungenye isizathu. Mhlawumbe umfana wayematasa kakhulu - umsebenzi, isifundo, ezemidlalo, ukuzilibazisa, futhi wayengenandaba namantombazane;
- okuhlangenwe nakho okubi esikhathini esidlule kungasikhathaza isikhathi eside umfana ukuba aqale ubudlelwane nentombazane futhi. Mhlawumbe intombazane eyedlule yabonisa ukungacabangi okungenangqondo, noma wayethusa le nsizwa ngokungaziqondi kahle, futhi lokhu kwakumkhathaza ngokwengqondo kangangokuthi akazange alinge ngaphezulu ukwenza imizamo emisha;
- umfana angaba yindodana encane yomama. Ukunakekelwa okwedlulele ngokweqile kaningi akuvumi ukuba umuntu abe ozimele ngokuphelele, futhi ukulawulwa okuqhubekayo okulahlayo kuyancipha isinyathelo.
Ngakho-ke kufanele ukwenze uma isoka lakho liyintombi, futhi uhamba naye embhedeni, noma ulambile kakhulu? Ubulili nomfana oneminyaka engu-18-20 engaba khona "ezingeni." Ngemuva kwalokho, ama-hormone kulesi sikhatsi ayenokudabuka, futhi uma umuntu onjalo esefinyelele "esithelweni esithandekayo", khona-ke ngokuqinisekile uzobe enganakeki embhedeni. Kodwa okwamanje kulesi simo kungcono ukukhumbula ezinye izincomo:
- ukuziphatha kwentombazana engashadile kungafakazela ukungavikeleki kwakhe. Umsebenzi wesifazane ukusiza ukunqoba. Umfana kufanele aqiniseke ngothando lwakho, futhi ukuthi awuyikuyeka, ngisho noma umzamo wokuqala wobulili uphumelela ukuthi awuphumelelanga;
- kunoma yikuphi okwamanje awukwazi ukukhumbula ngabanye abalingani bakho. Umfana usevele esaba ukuthi angeke abe phezulu, kusukela ezinkumbulo ezinjalo kuzoba zimbi nakakhulu.
- indlela yokujabulisa umfana oyintombi? Ungasheshi, unike isinyathelo kuye, ake umfana anqume ukukuanga, ukucindezela, ukuya ocansini;
- bonisa ukubekezela, ngoba izinyathelo ezinqumayo zingadingeka ukulinda okungaphezu kosuku olulodwa. Vele ukhulume ngothando lwakho, ngalokho okufunayo;
- kufanele azi ukuthi uthanda umzimba wakhe, ube mnene, uzikhathaze ngokwakho. Kodwa uma umfana engavumelani ngokushesha "kokubaluleke kakhulu", ungagcizeleli, wenze ngokucophelela.
Kunezimo lapho umfana nentombazane beyizintombi. Kulokhu, ngaphambi kokuqala ubulili, umuntu kufanele afunde kahle le ncazelo, afunde izincwadi ezifanele. Kungcono ukuqala nge-caresses ngokuhlanganyela, nokulala ocansini emva kokulala obuthile obuchitha ndawonye.