Uma ekugcineni sibe nobuhlobo obunzima, sikulungele ukuhamba ngenjabulo, namanje - yilokho - okuwukuphela kwatholakala. Kodwa isikhathi siyadlula, futhi siyaqaphela ukuthi ubuhlobo abufani nesikhathi esidlule, babe nohlobo oluthile lokuhlukanisa. Yini okufanele ngiyenze uma umyeni wami esekhulile? Okokuqala ukuqonda ukuthi kungani ubuhlobo buhlile, kahle, bese ulungisa isimo ngokuphuthumayo.
Kungani le ndoda ibanda?
Indlela yokuqonda ukuthi kungani indoda ikhulile, yayiyini isizathu? Lapha, ngaphandle kokucabanga okungathí sina abakwazi ukukwenza, khumbula lapho beqala ukubona izinguquko esimweni sengqondo somuntu othandekayo kuye. Futhi ngesisekelo salokhu, yenza ucabange ngezimbangela ezikhona zokuvela kwamakhaza ebuhlotsheni.
- "Yini okufanele ngiyenze, umyeni wami usehlilile kimi?" - uhlangabezana nakho. Ingabe lokhu kunjalo ngempela? Mhlawumbe imbangela yokupholisa okungukuthi ukukhathala kungukujwayelekile ukukhathala, izinkinga emsebenzini, lapho umyeni wakho engafuni ukwabelana nawe ngoba nje evikela umndeni ekukhathazeni okungadingekile?
- Uma lo muntu othandekayo esekhulile, into yokuqala efika engqondweni ukuthi unomunye. Yenza le nketho yedwa akudingekile, mhlawumbe othile ohlangothini futhi ubonakale, kodwa kuze kube manje unalo ukucabanga okungacacile nje. Kungenzeka isizathu sibe kuwe? Khumbula ukuthi wawuyini ekuqaleni kobudlelwane nokuthi uyini manje. Kukhona izinguquko, futhi akuzona okungcono, okulungile? Awuqapheli ngokubukeka, futhi ubheka uthando ukuba ube ngumsebenzi, hhayi indlela yokubonisa imizwa yakho, futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, ubudlelwane baqala ukuthola umlingisi we-barter: "Ngakuhlukumeza, futhi unginika okuthile."
- Ngokuvamile, abesifazane bayaqaphela ukuthi yonke into ishintshile ngemva kokubeletha. Umyeni usuqaphele umkakhe, ngamanye amazwi, usekhulile. Ungacabangi nje ukuthi wayeka ukuthanda. Ukubonakala kwengane kuphela ukuhlolwa hhayi kuphela kuwe, kodwa kumuntu, kudingeka futhi afunde ukuhlala ngendlela entsha. Futhi ingane encane ithatha ingxenye yesandla nengxenyana yengonyama, abazali abasha ngokuvamile abatholi amandla okuthi "ubusuku obuhle" komunye nomunye.
Kuthiwani uma lo muntu othandekayo ekhulile?
Yingakho imizwa ikhulile, kuhlelwe, ihlala isinqumo sokuthi ukwenze kanjani ngalokhu konke. Uma umyeni esekhathele emsebenzini, usehlile ngenxa yokubukeka kwakho noma ngenxa yokubuyisela emndenini, kunoma yikuphi okunye okudingayo ukukhuluma naye. Umndeni ojabulayo umphumela womsebenzi womshado womabili, ngakho-ke usizo lomyeni ngeke lube lukhulu. Vele uzame ukukhipha amanothi ahlambalaza avela kuzwi lakho, ukhulume nomyeni wakho ngokuthula, ubuze ukuthi yini ehluphayo. Uma umuntu eshiya ingxoxo, ungafaki, isikhathi esithile, uphinde uthumele ingxoxo bese uzama ukuyiqala ngezinsuku ezimbalwa kamuva. Uma ukhulume naye, uzoqonda ukuthi ngabe baqinisile yini ekucabangeni kwabo noma bamane bazihlanganisa zonke izindaba ze-horror, ngenxa yokuthi zona ngokwazo azizange zilale ebusuku.
- Umsebenzi uhlanganisa imali eningi, ikhanda liqoqa, nangu indoda nomuzi nawe nelaskov. Yini okufanele ngiyenze? Msize adlulise le ndawo enzima, ukubekezela okuncane, futhi konke kuyoba kuhle. Kanciphisa kancane izidingo zakho kumyeni, manje udinga ukwesekwa kwakho ngaphezu kwamazwi okulungisa nokugxeka okuqhubekayo.
- Uyazi ihlaya elinjalo "ngingangashada ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka, kungenjalo ngikhathele ukuzinakekela mina"? Qaphela ukuthi lihlobene nani? Esikhundleni sokuzilungisa ngokwakho, bese emva kwesikhathi uphenduke waba ngumfazi okhukhumezayo egqoke izingubo zokugqoka kanye nama-curlers angapheli ekhanda lakhe. Futhi uyeke ukwenza ama-scandals kunoma yisiphi isenzakalo, kholwa mina, ku-caress yendoda yenza okungcono kakhulu.
Ngesinye isikhathi i-pair of words gentle ingakwazi ukufeza lokho okungenakufezwa ngosizo lokuhlambalaza nokusongelwa. - Emndenini wakho kwakukhona ingane, futhi umyeni akayena onesihe kangaka? Linda, konke kuzosebenza, futhi ngaphandle kwalokho, mhlawumbe lokhu kuyingxenye yecala lakho? Isimo sokucindezeleka kwangemva kokubeletha sivamile futhi, okwamanje, abathandekayo bakho kufanele bakusize ngalokhu, kepha uma ungafuni ukuphuma kulo mbuso, ubani ongabeka icala lokushintsha isimo sengqondo ngaye? Futhi awungeke ukhathele, ukuza ukhathele emsebenzini, ukubhekana nomntwana hhayi kuphela, kodwa futhi nabanamahloni kwesigamu sesibili, ngakho-ke nakulokhu, esikhundleni sokubonga bathola ukuhlambalaza okungapheli?