Lapho abantu bezama ukuqonda abesifazane futhi bengenzi lutho - lokhu kuvamile, asidingi ukuba baqonde ukucabanga kwethu okuphezulu. Kodwa ukuthi ungaziqonda kanjani, ukuthi ungabheka kanjani izisusa zemiqondo "efanayo" - lesi sihloko sokucabangela okukhiqizayo. Ake sizame ukuqonda i-psychology yamantombazane futhi ufunde ukuziphendulela umbuzo othi "kungani?"
Ethandweni
Ingabe kwenzeke kuwe ukuthi uthandana futhi awuboni ukuthi uyathandana? Ingabe kwenzeke ukuthi ulahlekelwe othile owakuthandayo ngempela, ngoba nje awuzange uqaphele umusa wakho ngesikhathi? Konke lokhu kungumqondo wesifazane, osibhubhisa. I-psychology yamantombazane ethandweni, i-alas, noma ngenhlanhla, ayifaki ukukhona kwanoma yimiphi imibono, ehlukanisa yonke imizwa emizwelweni enobudlova, amagama angenakusho. Ake sibone ukuthi singanquma kanjani ukuthi uyathandana:
1. Isoka lakho elihle lingakunikeza izimbali, uswidi kanye namathoyizi athambileyo, ngokuphendula lokhu:
- bonke ngokuvuma ukubonga, ukuthatha kalula - awusakuthandani, kodwa vele uvumele ukuthanda;
- zama ukujabulisa ngokuphendula okuthile naye - ulalele ngokucophelela amazwi akhe kanye nezindaba bese unikeza izipho "kulesi sihloko" - uyathandana ngempela noma unomusa kakhulu.
Thatha isinyathelo:
- ngokwabo babiza futhi banikezele ukuhlangabezana - mhlawumbe lokhu kuyisibonakaliso senhliziyo yengane intombazane ethandwayo;
- ukubuka izinto eziphuthumayo ngokwemvelo, imihlangano yokuhlehliswa kwezimvo ezilandelayo akudingeki;
- Hlela - ngokuba othandweni, uzoqala ukukhumbula ingxoxo mayelana nokuthi kungaba kuhle kanjani ukuya khona, bese uvakashela okuthile, uye lapho, njalo njalo;
- unesithakazelo - qaphela intshisekelo kuzihloko ongazange uziphathe nazo ngaphambili, uma "yena" ekutshela ngabo.
Ulimi lomzimba
Ngaphezu kwe-psychology yokuziphatha kwamantombazane, kukhona ulimi lomzimba, oluhle kakhulu, uma ubheka ngokucophelela.
Izimpawu zothando ngolimi lomzimba:
- ukuvelela okuvulekile - imilenze ihlukaniswe kancane, izingalo zikhululekile (azihambanga), isilonda sisule;
- ukubukeka okungavinjelwe, okuhlale kuhleliwe kulokho okumele uthande ngakho;
- uzizwa ukuthi kusuka emzimbeni wakho kufika kanjani amandla ajwayelekile, angavamile.
Ukuhlukanisa
Isihloko esihlukile sokucabangisisa nokuzifundela sona yi-psychology yamantombazane ngemuva kokuhlukanisa. Ingabe uzizwa ukhululekile, ujabule ngemva kokuhlukanisa?
Yiqiniso, ukhale emsikeni, ukhononda kubangani, kodwa ngaphakathi kwakho ujabulela umuzwa wokukhululeka, inkululeko. Ekugcineni ususe ubuhlobo obususa wena.
Uma owesifazane ejabule ngemuva kwekhefu, eqaliswe yena ngokwakhe, lokhu kuvamile. Ukulungele ukuziphatha ngalokhu, nge-ex yakho kakade awukho lutho olujabulisayo lokuzihlanganisa. Ukukhululwa kuyindlela evamile yokusabela ekuqedeni izinto ezingadingekile.
Kodwa uma kwenzeka ukuqubuka okungazelelwe okuqalwe ngumlingani wakho - umuzwa wenjabulo nenkululeko ukhuluma ngamanye ama-nuances e- psyche yakho. Lokhu kuvame ukukwenzeka nabesifazane ababengenanhlanhla nabazali babo ebuntwaneni babo. Ubaba onamandla, owayeyesaba intombazane encane, waba isikhuthazo sokwakha umhlaba wakhe, lapho kungekho muntu khona. Ngokwemvelo, wena
Khona-ke uthi uchitha ubuhlobo bakho ngokwakho, ungaphakathi ngaphakathi kokulindela okuhle kwekhefu elizayo. Impendulo enjalo, cishe, kufanele ikhulunywe nengqondo kwengqondo. Kodwa ungaphelelwa ithemba: ngezikhathi eziningana ze-psychotherapy, uzosuswa ebhodini lokulimala komntwana futhi uzoqala ubuhlobo bakho obusha nobulili besilisa kusuka esiceleni esihlanzekile.
Ukuziphatha kwabesifazane akukwazi ukuchazwa ngisho nabesifazane ngokwabo. Uyazi lokhu ngokwakho ngokwakho. Ingabe kufanelekile kuleli cala ukusola amadoda ngokungaqondi kahle, futhi ngaleyo ndlela, ukukhipha amanothi ebuhlotsheni bakho?