Uthando luzwakale oluhle olunezimo ezihlukahlukene kanye nomlando wokubukeka: abanye baqhathanisa nesenzakalo saso "nesiteleka somlilo", njengokukhanya okungazelelwe okukhanyisa ukuphila, okukunikeza incazelo entsha. Abanye baqhathanisa uthando negciwane, elaqhubeka ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, liphenduka imbali enhle, ngenxa yokuzikhandla kwemisebenzi yombili yabalingani okudingekayo: ukuhlolisana komunye nomunye, ukunqoba okuhlangene kwezithiyo nomsebenzi wengqondo.
Naphezu kokubukwa okuhlukile kwekhadi, zonke izinhlobo zothando zinesici esivamile: lokhu kungumzwelo ongeyena ongenakulinganiswa nokuthi ukunyamalala nokusobala akukwazi ukubikezelwa. Ngakho-ke, abaningi bakhathazeka ngokuthi bangagcina kanjani uthando lokuphila, banikezwe konke okungahle kwenzeke okungahle kwenzeke okungakabonakali okungase kuqiniseke kokubili, futhi kuyifake ize.
Indlela yokugcina uthando kude?
Uma ukubukeka kothando kungase kuhlotshaniswe nokufa okungeke kuthonywe, khona-ke kungenzeka ukulondoloza le mpilo ngentando yayo. Mhlawumbe esimweni esinzima kunazo zonke uthando lukude. Indlela yokulondoloza uthando, okokuqala, kufanele ivuse inhliziyo, kodwa kunezinye izinto eziyinkinga yonke. Kusukela lapha sikhuluma ngothando, hhayi ubudlelwane, sizogxila esimweni sangaphakathi somthandi:
- ithemba lokuhlangana kabusha. Kukhona uthando olungenakulinganiswa, oluhlala amashumi eminyaka, lapho umuntu engathembi ukuthi ngolunye usuku uzohlangana nabathandekayo bakhe. Nokho, ezimweni eziningi, abantu ukuze balondoloze lo mzwa, kudingeka wazi ukuthi ngolunye usuku othandekayo uzosondela;
- idala noma ikusasa elijabulisayo. Uma abantu bejabula ngaphambi kokuhlukanisa, ngezinye izikhathi kudingeka uphenduke kulezi zinkumbulo, usekele "ku-tonus" isithombe esibonakalayo senjongo yokudumisa. Uma kungekho okudlulile okudlule, kuzomele uhlanganise ukucabanga futhi uphenduke esikhathini esizayo: cabanga ukuthi kuzoba kanjani ndawonye ndawonye, wenze amapulani, futhi uphile njengokungathi othandekayo usuvele eseduze. Kodwa lapha kukhona ingozi yokubanjwa emibonweni engenalutho, ngakho akudingekile ukuthi ube kuleso simo isikhathi eside kakhulu.
Indlela yokugcina uthando emshadweni?
Ngeshwa, ukuhlukanisa akuyona into engavamile esikhathini sethu: ixhunyaniswe nezinkinga zansuku zonke, lapho wonke amandla wabalingani esetshenziselwa isisombululo sabo, kanti nokuthi imfihlakalo eyashukumisa umuzwa wothando, futhi-ke, ngesikhathi sokushintsha konke. Uma uqhathanisa abantu ababili okwamanje, bese ubuya emuva esikhathini esedlule, bese uqhathanisa nabo, cishe kungenzeka ukuthi bazoba abantu abahlukile. Kusukela emagama athi "Ngiyakuthanda" kumbuzo othi "ukugcina uthando lomyeni" kungamayelana neminyaka emihlanu: lo mbhangqwana ushada, izingane zivela, konke kuguquka ngaphandle kohlobo lobuhlobo. Ngakho-ke, ukuze ufunde ukuthi ungalondoloza kanjani uthando emndenini, kumele uqale uqaphele ubuhlobo, hhayi imizwa:
- engeza ezihlukahlukene. Iseluleko sibonakala singabi, kodwa ngaphandle kwayo: uma ungena "bytovuhe", khona-ke uthando oluqine kakhulu luvuthwa: ngeke nje lube nenhliziyo ezinhliziyweni zakho. Ngokuba izimbiza nokukhathazeka, njengokuthi "ukwenza ukulungiswa endlini yokugezela," asikho isikhathi sokubona uthando lwakho lomuntu. Ngakho-ke, vumela indlu yakho ingabi yinto ekahle, kodwa ukusekela imizwa ezingeni elifanele kuyadingeka: ngubani odinga indlu ehlanzekile ngaphandle kwenjabulo kuyo?
- ukubukeka. Izinguquko zomdala akufanele kube yisizathu sokukhohlwa ngokubukeka okukhangayo. Bobabili abesilisa nabesifazane "bathanda" ngamehlo, izindlebe kanye nokuthinta, ngakho-ke lo mbhangqwana kufanele uhlale ubheka kahle, uphuze okuhle futhi ube nesihloko esithakazelisayo sezingxoxo, ukuze ungazwani.
- izinguquko eziqhubekayo zobuntu. Ukuze indoda nomfazi babonise isithakazelo komunye nomunye, kudingeka babonise isithakazelo kubo. Thola okuzilibazisa, shintsha, funda izinto ezintsha, futhi okubaluleke kakhulu - ungakhohlwa ukwabelana nomngane wakho.
Indlela yokulondoloza uthando ngobudlelwane obungashadile?
I-"Achille" isithende "sobudlelwane obude be-extraritalital ukuthi ayifinyelele esiphethweni esinengqondo - inyunyana esemthethweni kanye nokuzalwa kwezingane. Ngakho-ke, impendulo yombuzo othi "Ungalondoloza kanjani imizwa ebuhlotsheni obunjalo?" Kulesi simo kulula: udinga ukuqhubeka nokuthuthukisa. Psychologically, sondela, uhlele umshado, bese ukhulisa izingane. Ubudlelwane "obunqamule" esiteji esithile, bunobungozi obukhulu bokuphela ngoba abalingani abangacabangi bazocabangela ukuthi imizwa yabo ayinalutho, eholela engelutho.
Indlela yokuqinisa uthando?
Izazi zengqondo zinikela ngamasu amaningana ukuthi ungasindisa kanjani futhi wenze uthando luqine:
- siza umlingani wakhe ukuthuthukisa izimfanelo ezinhle;
- Ukukhulumisana ngaso sonke isikhathi, ukuseka ukusondelana ngokomzwelo;
- zama ukwenza imisebenzi yasendlini ndawonye: kusukela ekulungiseni ukudla kwasekuseni futhi ekupheleni kokukhetha ukuhlelwa okuhlanganisiwe;
- Ungazami ukushintsha kakhulu: thola uthando njengoba kunjalo. Khumbula okwenzeka kumfazi omdala ovela emlandweni mayelana nomdobi kanye nenhlanzi: wahlala emgodini ophukile lapho efuna njalo, efuna okungaphezulu. Funda ukuqonda lokho onakho;
- uhlele ukuzijabulisa okuvamile, okuzoletha injabulo kokubili.
Ukungabaza ukuthi ukusebenza kwale mibhodi akudingekile, ngakho-ke esikhundleni sokucabanga ukuthi ungalahlekelwa kanjani uthando, yehla ebhizinisini: uthando, futhi ujabulele lo mzwelo, bese ungatholi ndawo kuwe.