Isiteji empilweni yomuntu ofana nokucindezeleka angeke ibe yinto engaphezu kwenkinga yobudala obuphakathi. Umuntu uphazamisa okuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe kokuphila, ekhononda ngamathuba alahlekile angacabangi futhi acabange ngobudala obuzayo. Wonke umuntu uhlangabezana nale nkathi ngendlela yakhe, ngakho-ke ukuqina kwemizwelo emibi kanye nobude bawo bodwa ngokuqondile.
Inkinga yobudala obuphakathi - kwengqondo
Isizathu esibaluleke kakhulu salesi senzakalo yizinhlelo ezingagcwaliseki kanye namaphupho angashaywanga ebusheni. Kubonakala sengathi umuntu isikhathi esilahlekile nakanjani futhi akunakwenzeka ukufeza okufunayo. Ubuhlobo bomphakathi phakathi komndeni buyashintsha: Abazali ababevame ukusekela nokusekela, baba usizo futhi badinga usizo ngokwabo, nezingane, njalo ezilalelayo futhi ezithandekayo, zithintekile, zahamba ekuphileni okuzimele. Ngenxa yalokho, abantu balahlekelwa izimpawu zomlando ekuphileni: abakwazi ukuqondiswa yisikhathi esidlule njengesizukulwane esidala, kodwa abakwazanga ukwakha ukukhiya umoya, njengezingane.
I-Psychology ephakathi kweminyaka eyinhlekelele emadodeni ibhekwa njengombono wokunganeliseki ngokwayo. Ngokuvamile, ziyashintsha ngokuphawulekayo izimpilo zabo, futhi ziphikisana nomqondo ovamile. Abomabhizinisi bathengisa ibhizinisi futhi bathuthele ukuba baphile ezindlebeni, obaba abanothando namadoda abashiya imindeni, njll. Ngokwesayensi, inkinga yokuphila ebusweni obuthakathaka idinga ukucinga amafomu amasha nezinzwa, bazama ukumisa inqubo yokuguga ngamandla abo onke, bazama ukungaboni iminyaka yabo. Abangane babo njalo - ukufutheka okusheshayo, ukukhala, ukunganeliseki.
Inkinga yobudala obuphakathi kwabesifazane
Isisusa esiyinhloko ekubunjweni kwayo yizinguquko ezimbi ngokubukeka: ukubukeka kwamacimbi, amakhilogremu engeziwe kanye nezinwele ezimhlophe, i-cellulite nezinye izibonakaliso ezibonakalayo kokubili nakwezinye. Abanakekeli bezempilo ababeke ukuphila kwabo konke e-altare lokuzisola ukuthi abazange babe abafazi nabomama, futhi abesifazana, ngokuphambene nalokho, bakhathele isimiso sekhaya sasekhaya, bengakhononi ukuthi abafinyelele ezindaweni eziphakeme emkhakheni wezobuchwepheshe, nakuba ngenxa yalokhu babekhona ngesikhathi sabo konke kuyadingeka.
Labo abanesithakazelo sokuthi isimo esibucayi besinyaka yobudala sibonakala kanjani kubesifazane kubalulekile - bobabili baqala ukubona ukuthi bangaphansi kwabancintisana abancane nabanzima: yibo abathatha amadoda athembisayo kakhulu, yiwo asetshenziswa ngokuyinhloko, kanye nabantwana abaneminyaka engamashumi amane kakade ibona "njengesibili" ebangeni. Uma owesifazane engatholi isiqiniseko sokuthi usemuhle futhi emuhle, ukuzethemba kwakhe kuyawa, impilo ivela emnyama. Uqonda ukuthi akekho oqaphela imizamo yakhe futhi akawubongi imizamo yakhe. Izingane azifaneleki ukulindela, futhi umyeni usanda kuthukuthela.
Inkinga yeminyaka engu-30 kubesifazane - izimpawu
Izimpawu ezisemqoka zalesi simo kubesifazane zibhekwa njengezi:
- Ukudideka nokungabaza ekukhangeni kwayo.
- Ukuzwa ukubhujiswa kanye nesikhathi esiphelelwe isikhathi nethuba. Ngokuvamile owesifazane ukhononda ukuthi wakhetha umlingani ongalungile, okumele kube khona.
- I-nebulosity nokungaqiniseki kwekusasa. Akukho ukuzethemba esikhathini esizayo, ukungabaza okuqhubekayo nokumesaba okungenangqondo.
- Ukukhula kothando lomlingani ohlala njalo.
- Ukungqubuzana nokungaqondi kahle nezingane.
- Ukuqhathaniswa futhi "ukukhathazeka" ngemuva kwezincwadi zamuva.
- Ukungathandi ukubona noma ubani, ukuhlanganiswa.
- Ukunganeliseki ngokubukeka nokusola ukuthi impumelelo yangaphambilini yezobuchwepheshe ayikho ephakeme kakhulu.
- Inkinga yeminyaka engamashumi amathathu kwabesifazane ihambisana nesinye isibonakaliso - ukuqonda ukuthi esikhathini esidlule asibuyanga, futhi isikhathi asibuyanga emuva futhi esidlule asikwazi ukuguqulwa.
Ngabe inkinga yenkathi ephakathi iqala nini kwabesifazane?
Isilinganiso esiyinkinga yobudala besifazane , njengombuso, siqala emva kweminyaka engamashumi amathathu, njengoba intsha yentuthuko isiphelile, ukuguga "kuqhuma emgodleni," futhi isimo sezempilo sibuhlungu. Kulabo abanesithakazelo sokuthi isikhathi esingakanani phakathi kwabesifazane abaneminyaka engamashumi amabili nantathu bahlala khona, kubalulekile ukuphendula ukuthi ukuthuthukiswa, ubude kanye nenkambo yayo iminyene. Ophikelela kakhulu futhi oqinile ukubhekana nakho ngokungenabuhlungu futhi ngokusheshisa, kanti abanye banamathele kule ngqungquthela isikhathi eside futhi kamuva babhekana nezinkinga ezihlukahlukene zengqondo eziye zathuthukiswa kule nhlabathi.
Ungasinda kanjani inselelo yobudala obuphakathi kwabesifazane?
I-Psychotherapists batusa ukubeka ezinye iziqondiso ezizofaka umbala ngempilo ngemibala emisha. Ukuvula ibhizinisi labo ekungenathemba, bavame ukwenza umsebenzi. Noma iyiphi ibhizinisi elingavamile lingaletha ukwaneliseka. Ekuxazululeni inkinga yokunqoba inkinga ekhona yabesifazane, okubalulekile ukuqala ukusebenza ngokwakho, ubuye uphinde uhlole ikhabethe lakho, ugcwalise izinto eziphathekayo ezizohambelana nesimo senkosikazi evuthiwe neyethembayo. Into eyinhloko ukubuka phambili ngethemba, ukubonisa ukwazisa okwedlule futhi uvume ukuthi yonke into ingashintshwa.
Inkinga yabesilisa abaneminyaka emaphakathi
Kusukela enkingeni yobudala obuphakathi angeke kube yinshuwalense futhi kwinethiwekhi yayo ingathola kokubili ibhizinisi lebhizinisi eliphumelelayo kanye nodoti olungasebenzi. Uqala ukuzisola ngamathuba alahlekile, aphinde abuyele ekuthandweni kwakhe kokuphila, indima yakhe emphakathini. Izibonakaliso zangaphandle zokwehla, okuhambisana nokunciphisa amandla okubangela ukudideka. Sekufundile, yiziphi izimpawu zenkinga yokuphila emadodeni, kuyacaca ukuthi balahlekelwe ukholo ngokwabo, bazizwa becindezelwe. Baxabana nabalingani nabafazi, bahlushwa ukungaboni kahle izingane. Konke okwakwenziwa ngaphambilini nge-inertia, kubangela ukucasuka.
Inkinga yeminyaka engama-40 yamadoda - izimpawu
Uphawu oluyinhloko salesi simo emadodeni ngu:- Ukungabi nenjongo ekuphileni. Le ndoda iphela ukulwela noma yini.
- Ukucindezeleka, ukunganakwa, ukucindezeleka.
- Ukuguqulwa kwezinto eziza kuqala ezintweni ezingokomoya kanye nemibono, okwenza ushintsho olubukhali ekuthandeni nasekuziphatheni.
- Ukungqubuzana, ukuphikiswa.
- Inkinga yobudala obuphakathi ihambisana nokunciphisa amandla, isithakazelo socansi kumngane ohlala njalo. Kodwa isithakazelo kwabesifazane abasha kuphindaphindiwe.
- I-nostalgia yobusha.
Ngabe inkinga eneminyaka emaphakathi iqala nini emadodeni?
Bazibonela kancane kancane - emva kweminyaka engamashumi amane, lapho bebona ukuthi sonke lesi sikhathi abazange baqondiswe hhayi ngokwabo, kodwa babekwe ngaphandle ngaphandle izifiso, baphile izimpilo zabo ngokwemithetho ethile eyakhelwe. Indoda ihlale idinga umgomo, kumele iqaphele ukuthi ubani ozama yena futhi uzwe ukusekelwa kwabathandekayo bakhe. Uma umuntu eboshiwe ubuhlobo nezihlobo zakhe, uqala ukuxabana. Labo ababuza ukuthi kungakanani isikhathi esibucayi besilisa abaneminyaka emaphakathi, awukwazi ukuphendula ukuthi kukhona isibalo esithile. Omunye uyidlula kalula, kepha omunye uhlushwa iminyaka.
Ungasinda kanjani inselele yobudala phakathi kwamadoda?
Ngisho nabameleli besigamu esiphezulu kuleso simo badinga ukusekelwa kwezihlobo nabangane babo. Umfazi udinga ukujabulisa indoda yakhe, ukukhuluma ngesidingo nokubaluleka kwakhe. Labo abacela ukuthi banqobe kanjani inkinga ye-midlife emadodeni, kufanelekile ukululeka ukuba uzame ukuphuma ebhizinisini evamile bese wenza okuthakazelisayo nokuthi yini ofuna ukuyiqaphela isikhathi eside - thatha izithombe, udibe, uhambe uyeke. Cabanga ngokuma kwabo emphakathini emsebenzini, emndenini, nabangani. Kubalulekile ukuguqula kakhulu isitayela sokuphila, uma kudingekile, kube nokunye okunengqondo.
Yakha ubudlelwane nabantwana, uvumele ukuba baxazulule izinkinga zabo futhi bazizwe benesibopho sezenzo zabo. Esikhathini esizayo, lokhu kuzobasindisa "emifula" yale minyaka. Zama ukubheka umkakhe ngamanye amehlo, zama ukuvusa imizwa edlule, ukuphumula ndawonye. Uma lesi simo siphume kakhulu, ungahlala ufuna iseluleko kumuntu wezengqondo noma ube yilungu lamaqembu ezokusiza noma ukuqeqesha.