Ubuhlobo phakathi komamazala nomalokazana akuvamile ukufudumala nokwamukela. Ezimweni eziningi, ukungabi nokuqonda okuhambisanayo kuholela ekuxabaneni komndeni, ngisho nokuhlukanisa.
Inani lamapholisti aqhutshwa emazweni ahlukene lifakazela ukuthi kuthinta kangakanani ubudlelwane emndenini kanye noninazala. Abantu abambalwa abanenhlanhla kuphela abakwazi ukuziqhayisa ngobuhlobo obuhle nomama wabo, kodwa kubesifazane abaningi abaneminyaka ehlukeneyo umbuzo wokuthi bangabeka kanjani ubudlelwane nomamazala wabo bavulekile. I-psychology yobuhlobo noninazala iye yafundiswa iminyaka eminingi, futhi namuhla ulwazi oluthe xaxa lunikezwa ngendlela yokwakha ubuhlobo nomamazala. Kodwa, naphezu kwalokhu, le nkinga isalokhu ingagululwa emindenini eminingi. Futhi ukusizakala ngisho nezeluleko ezilula nezincomo zengqondo yezokwelapha ngokuzikhandla akulula neze. Ake sizame ukuqonda izizathu zalokhu, kungani ubuhlobo phakathi komamazala nomalokazana behlala kuyinkinga, naphezu yonke imizamo yabangqondo bezengqondo, futhi kufanele kwenziwe kanjani ukuqinisekisa ukuthi umndeni ube nokuthula nokuqonda okufanayo.
Ungakha kanjani ubuhlobo nomamazala?
Ngisho nomqondo wokuthi kufanele bazame ukulungisa lesi simo akuvumelekile kumalokazana omncane. Ukufakwa okunjalo ekuqaleni kuyimbangela yobuhlobo obubi nomamazala. Kulesi simo, kunconywa ukuthi abesifazane abasha bazibeke endaweni kamamazala. Cabanga ukuzalwa komntwana, ucabange ukuthi ukhula kanjani, futhi iminyaka eminingi yindoda ebaluleke kakhulu ekuphileni komama, kuze kufike usuku lapho omunye owesifazane engayithathi indawo yakhe. Ukuzicabangela ngokugcwele ngalesi simo, omalokazana bangakwazi ukuqonda izisusa zokuziphatha komyeni womyeni. Ukuqamba okunjalo kuzokusiza ukuqonda indlela yokwakha ubudlelwane nomamazala esimweni esinzima kunabo bonke, ngisho noma ingxabano iqhubeka iminyaka eminingana.
Esinye isizathu esivamile sokungqubuzana phakathi komamazala nomalokazana ngumhawu. Ukuhawukela kungathatha izinhlobo eziningi, kepha isisekelo sihlala esisodwa - ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa ngumuntu othandekayo. Ngokuzimela ukunqoba umuzwa wesikhwele akunamandla amakhulu kuninazala. Futhi ukusiza kule nkinga kungaba ngumalokazana, ngokunakekela iqiniso lokuthi unina womyeni wakhe akazange azizwe elahliwe futhi engadingekile. Kodwa ukuze ubhekane nalo msebenzi, umalokazana kufanele ahloniphe umamazala ngokuqotho futhi aqonde lokho akwenzele indodana yakhe.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukungabi nokuqonda kokubili phakathi komamazala nomalokazana kubangelwa izici zeminyaka yobudala, okuyinto evame ukushiywa phansi ngokuphelele. Ukuzwa kokuguga, izinguquko ezingokomzwelo nokucindezeleka, okubangelwa izinguquko ze-hormone, kuthinta uhlamvu nokuziphatha ngendlela embi. Futhi njengoba isimo sikamamazala sikhishwa yizici zenyama, ngumalokazana omncane okumele akhombise ukuqonda nokuzinikela, ukuthola indlela kumama womyeni wakhe futhi amsize ukuba anqobe isikhathi esibucayi empilweni.
Kodwa lezi yizinyathelo zokuqala zokuqonda. Ngisho nokufuna ngobuqotho ukusungula ukuthula emndenini, ngokuqonda izizathu zesimo sengqondo esibi somama wakhe, umakoti udinga umsebenzi omningi. Okokuqala, kufanele ucabange ngendlela yokwakha ubudlelwano nomamazala wakho. Ngalokhu udinga ukuqonda kahle umkhwekazi wakho, ukwazi ukuthi imvelo yakhe nemikhuba yakhe. Kwamanye omama, kwanele ukubona ukuthi umalokazana wabo uyaziqonda futhi ulungele ukubambisana, kanti abanye bazophambene nalokho bazame ukugcina imizamo yabo yokugcina isimo sengqondo esinonya. Ngakho-ke, ukuhlakulela isu lokubuyisana kunokwenzeka kuphela ukucabangela uhlobo lwendalo kamamazala. Futhi, into ebalulekile yokubuyisana yikho ukuthethelelwa okuqotho komamazala, kuzo zonke izinkinga azibangele. Uma intukuthelo ihlala, khona-ke bayodonsa ubuhlobo esikhathini esizayo.
Kukhona ukuqeqeshwa okukhethekile kwengqondo okuzoqeda ubudlelwane obubi obunqunyiwe bokuqala nokwakha isakhiwo esihlanzekile. Emva kokucasuka, futhi ungathandi umama wengane, ungaqala imisebenzi esebenzayo. Kodwa ungalindeli ukuthi konke kuzoshintsha ngokushesha, ikakhulukazi uma impikiswano ihlala isikhathi eside. Ukuqala kobudlelwano obusha kungaba ingxoxo eqotho. Uma uninazala ubhekene nokungahlambuluki, noma ngokuvamile abuye aguqule incazelo yalokho okwakushiwo, khona-ke esikhundleni sokukhuluma kungcono ukubhala incwadi. Chaza kufanele kube ngemishwana elula futhi emifushane, ukugwema ukungacabangi nokungahambisani. Encwadini noma engxoxweni, kubalulekile ukuchaza ukuthi yingakanani inkinga kanye nokusikisela kokuqedwa kwayo. Ungasebenzisi ukuzithoba, ngethemba lokuthi lizonciphisa ubuhlobo. Kodwa ukubonga ngobuqotho noma ukudumisa unina womyeni wakhe ngeke kube yinto engadingekile, kugcizelela izici zobuntu noma amakhono abangela ukubonga.
Lapho ngihlala nomamazala, kuzodingeka ukuthi ngixazululwe izingxabano ezingokwengqondo kuphela, kodwa futhi nezakhamuzi. Futhi ukuxazulula lolu hlobo lwezinkinga kumele kukhulunywe ngobuciko futhi ngokuhlekisa, ngokuqondene nezingxabano zasekhaya umhlaba uzotholakala njalo futhi yonke indawo. Futhi kule ndaba, kuzodingeka futhi ukuthatha uninazala ngaphandle kokuthukuthela nokwahlulela, kanye nokuhlaziya izizathu zokunganeliseki kwalo nokuveza isu lokulima okungenabambano.
Emgwaqweni wokubuyisana nomamazala, kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kunzima kangakanani ubuhlobo nomama womyeni wakhe, lo ngumama womuntu othandekayo ongathanda ukubona umndeni wakhe unobungane futhi ujabule. Futhi ngenxa yalo mgomo, zonke izindlela zilungile futhi imizamo ngeke ibe yize.