"Ngisebenza ekudaleni ubuhlobo bomndeni, ngisebenza, futhi umyeni wami uzithola enkosikazi!", Ethi ngale ndlela kufanele akwenze okulandelayo, ngokuvamile abafazi abakhohlisayo ngezinye izikhathi abazi ukuthi kufanele baphonse umyeni wakhe noma baphathe ubuso bendlovukazi. Ukuze sigweme imibuzo enjalo, ake sisebenze ndawonye ukuthi senzeni uma indoda inenkosikazi nokuthi ingayibhekana kanjani nayo.
Ungamshaya kanjani indoda kumakhosikazi - nokuthi ngabe kuyadingeka yini?
Ngokuvamile, isikhalazo esithi "umyeni wami unenkosikazi, okumelwe akwenze" siphendulwa ngesitayela, umfazi ngokwakhe ubeka icala, ngemuva kokushada, wayeka ukumlandela, kepha ngokuvamile ikhanda lakhe laqala ukumhlupha. Izindebe zomyeni wakhe zaphendulwa, futhi wazithola enkosikazi. Yini elulekwa ukuba yenze kulokhu kumfazi okhungathekile nayo iyaqondakala - ukuphulukisa i-migraine, ukubuyela kuye "amafomu angaphambi komshado" futhi ukhumbule ukuthi kunezingubo ezikhangayo ngaphezu kwesembatho esidala.
Uma unento ngempela yokulungisa, kuzomele uwathathe. Kodwa yini okufanele uyenze uma konke kulungile, kubheka okuhle kakhulu, "ukuzithethelela" okuvela ocansini kubonakala sengathi uyingozi, futhi umyeni usaphila "kwesokunxele"? Indlela yokuhlukanisa indoda kumakhosikazi kulokhu? Uqinisekile ukuthi kuwufanele? Kuyinto eyodwa uma uthembele kumyeni wakho, ake sithi, ngokwezinto ezibonakalayo, futhi ukuhamba kwakhe kuyoba yingozi kuwe - ingane eyodwa ngeke idonse. Khona-ke, empeleni, kuyodingeka ukuthi uhlehlise (vala amehlo akho kumninkosikazi wakho, makenze lokho akufunayo, into eyinhloko ukuthi angashiyi umndeni) noma ucabange indlela yokuguqula umyeni wakhe enkosikazi yakhe. Kodwa uma uncike ngokwezimali ngokwe- "blagovernoy" awuxhomeki ngempela, mhlawumbe akufanele uzikhandle? Kusobala ukuthi iningi lamadoda ngezikhathi ezithile liye lahlambalaza ohlangothini, kodwa udinga umuntu ongazami ukufihla leli qiniso? Futhi ungacabangi ukuthi uzozikhawulela ezenzweni ezinjalo, amadoda avela ku-"walkers" ngokuvamile aziphatha ngendlela efanayo, uma nje impilo ivumela.
Indlela yokuhlukanisa umyeni kusuka kunkosikazi yakhe?
Zonke izimpawu zokuba nenkosikazi nomyeni wakhe ziqinisekisiwe, kodwa ufuna ngempela ukulondoloza umndeni wakho. Ungasindisa kanjani umyeni wakho kusuka kunkosikazi kulokhu, yini okufanele uyenze?
- Uma ujwayele induna yomyeni wakhe, isibonelo, umngane ungowakho, ngakho-ke ungasebenzisa konke oyaziyo ngaye ngokumelene naye. Xoxa ngendoda yakhe ngokuphathelene "nezinselele" zakhe ezihlale ziphela ngesikhungo sezempilo noma ukubonisana komuntu wesifazane (kusasaziwa ukuthi yini engcono kakhulu kumuntu - ukubamba isikhuhlane noma ukuthatha ingane kumakhosikazi). Sitshele ukuthi use-akhawunti ye-narcologist (wezifo zengqondo), yebo, ubungabangane, ngakho kwaba nesihawu. Khumbula zonke izimfihlo ayeke wabelane nawe, futhi zimbonise ngokungahambi kahle - ulwazi olungenacala kakhulu, olunikezwe kahle, lungamenza umuntu amkhohlise.
- Ake sithi awujwayele inkosikazi yomyeni wakho, ulwa kanjani nabo? Thola ukuthi ungubani u-razluchnitsy futhi uzimisele ukuhlangana naye kungakufaneleki-kahle, yini ongayitshela inkosikazi yendoda yakhe, yini ezoba khona? Umsebenzi ongcono kunabo bonke abanecala kakhulu, ama-scandal kuphela awadingi, ngisho noma engazi ukuthi uyazi ngenhloso yakhe. Zama ukwakha izimo lapho azodinga khona ukuvakashela nomndeni wakhe - isibonelo, ngenxa yokusebenza kanzima (kaningi isikhathi eside kunokujwayelekile), awukwazi ukuthatha izingane esikoleni (inkulisa). Futhi ungakhohlisa umyeni wakhe ukuba ahambe eholidini ndawonye, ngezinye izikhathi ingxenye encane yanele ukukhohlwa ngenkosikazi yakhe, ikakhulukazi uma imihlangano yabo ingaqala kungekudala. Ngokuvamile amadoda aqala abathandi, ekholelwa ukuthi umkakhe usuvele esondla nabo, futhi ngeke ahambe noma yikuphi. Mphikise lokhu kuqiniseka, makabe nomhawu.
- Uma unquma ukukhuluma nomyeni wakho mayelana nemikhankaso yakhe "yesobunxele", yenzeni ngenzuzo ngokwakho. Awudingi izinyembezi namahlaya, awukwazi ukusiza ama-scandals. Ufuna ukukhuluma, ake akhulume, futhi ulalele ngokucophelela bese uthola iziphetho, kunokuba omunye akhangane naye.
- Ngokuvamile ngifuna ngempela ukuhlela inkosikazi "i-debriefing", kodwa ungenzi lokhu. Uma ungenakubekezeleleka ngokuphelele, zama ukubhalela inkosikazi yomyeni konke okucabangayo. Ngemuva kokubhala, funda futhi uphinde ushise iqabunga (ifayela) (susa). Awudingi ukuthumela izincwadi ezinjalo, uzokwanelisa lesi sidingo sokuxoxa nenkosikazi yakho, futhi uzothola kulula ukuziqonda.