Emibhokisini ungayithola kaningi izitatimende ezinjengokuthi "Ngifuna ukuvuma umfana othandweni omuhle, kodwa angazi kanjani" noma "Ngesaba ukuvuma kumfana othandweni kuqala." Futhi naphezu kokubonakala okulula, naphezu kokubonakala okulula, intombazane enesibindi kuphela futhi eqinisekisiwe yikwazi ukukhuluma amagama amathathu ayigugu athi "Ngiyakuthanda!" Bonke abanye bathola isibindi ngaphambi kokuba bavume imizwa yabo. Kodwa kuyadingeka yini ukuvuma ukuthi umfana othandweni kuqala, ngeke yini kubangele ukungaqondi kahle ngaye nokuthi imizwa yakhe intombazane ifuna ukunciphisa inkululeko yakhe? Ngesizathu esithile, iningi lamadoda, evuma uthando nentombazane, azizwa zizibopho ezikhethekile ngokwabo, kodwa cabanga ukuthi uma intombazane ibika imizwa yakhe, isinyathelo sayo esilandelayo, esilandelayo ngokushesha, kuyoba ingxoxo ngomshado? Futhi akubona bonke abakulungele ukuthuthukiswa kwezehlakalo. Ngakho-ke, umbuzo wokuqaphela isoka lakho kungokwesimo sezulu, ukuthola esikhundleni sokuqashelwa impendulo, ukubukeka okuqaphele akudingeki ukuthi noma ubani ofuna. Ukuze sigweme isenzakalo esinjalo, siyaqonda ukuthi kanjani futhi kanjani ukuxhumana kangcono nemizwa yabo.
Nini?
Ngakho-ke, yini okufanele ngibheke ukuze ngiqagele umzuzu ofanele? Ngokwemvelo, enhliziyweni yakhe, akunakwenzeka ukuthi umfana olayishwe umsebenzi (ukutadisha) noma ukubukela umdlalo weqembu lakhe ozithandayo, uzokuphendula ngokufanelekile. Futhi hhayi ngenxa yokuthi akakhathaleli, akakuzwa - amadoda anesipho esiyingqayizivele ukugxila enkingeni eyodwa, ngokungayeki ukuqonda izwe elibazungezile. Ngakho-ke, silinde kuze kube yilapho othandekayo ekhululiwe futhi uzobe esilungele ukwamukela ukuvuma kwakho. Ngendlela, ingabe uhlangane isikhathi eside? Vumelanisa, umemezela ngokungazelelwe ukuvusa imizwa ejulile ngesikhathi somhlangano wakho wesibili, kuyobe kungalungile. Nika isikhathi okhethiweyo ukuba ajwayele ukuba khona kwakho empilweni yakhe, bese nje ukhulume ngothando lwakhe.
Kanjani?
Ubani isoka lakho, u-romortic noma u-pedantic, ongenawo amathayiminyaka emihlanu ezayo? Indoda ethandanayo iyojabula uma unquma ukuvuma ukuthi uyayithanda kahle, lapho uhlele i-dinner candlelight dinner noma ipikinikini phezu kophahla, ngaphansi kwelanga. Uma intandokazi iphinde ibe yi-gourmet, kufanele kube khona indawo etafuleni izitsha ezizithandayo, ngisho noma ungazithandi ngempela. Akuyona imininingwana engeke ihlezi khona lapho umfana, cishe, uzothola ukuthandana nge-tinsel engadingekile, ngakho-ke kufanele usungula into ehlukile, into esemqoka ingena emoyeni. Isibonelo, ujabule ngento ethile, ekhuluma ngesibindi sokuzizwa kwakhe okuhle, engeza imizwelo emihle kuye ngokuvuma kwakhe (nje ungaphazamisi, ake akhulume). Ukuziqhenya emnothweni wamathambo kunzima ukubamba imizwelo, futhi ukuvinjelwa amakhandlela akukwazi ukukuthola, yini okufanele uyenze? Mtshele ngemizwa yabo, hhayi e-bay-floundering, kodwa ngemva kokulungiselela. Mdumise nganoma yini, lo mfana uzokhululeka, akhohlwe ukuthi into yakhe elandelayo ikhona esimisweni sanamuhla futhi uzobe ekulungele ukukulalela. Ngendlela, ibhizinisi elibi lingabhala i-sms noma umlayezo nge-imeyli.
Ngokwemvelo, akekho oshiya ilungelo lakho lokuvuma uthando lwakho kumfana ngendlela yokuqala. Umqondo kuphela wokuqala uhlukile kuwo wonke umuntu, omunye umangazwa ibhanna enesimemezelo sothando esithunyelwe amafasitela ekamelo lakhe lokulala, futhi othile uthinta ikhekhe le-Valentine ngamazwi adayisayo. Ngakho sicabanga ukuthi isoka lakho lisondele futhi likhethe indlela efanele yokuqashelwa.
Yiqiniso, azikho izindlela zomhlaba wonke noma izincomo zokuvuma kumuntu othandweni, kanjalo
Futhi uma usenomqondo wokuthi "Ngifuna ukuvuma kumfana othandweni, kodwa ngesaba", cabanga ukuthi uqinisekile ukuthi lo muntu wakho. Uma kunjalo, akukho lutho olwesabayo, uzoliqonda futhi aluqonde. Futhi uma kukhona ukungabaza, ukuqashelwa kuyindlela engcono kakhulu yokuxazulula. Futhi ngisho noma othandekayo enza ngendlela ehlukile kunalokho ongathanda, ujabule - wazi ukuthi ngeke ukwazi ukwakha ubuhlobo nomuntu, manje, hhayi ngemuva kweminyaka embalwa edliwe.