Umzabalazo womalokazana nomamazala omnakekelwayo kanye nothando lomyeni wakhe nendodana kumuntu oyedwa ingqikithi yenkathi yeminyaka, ama-anecdotes futhi, ngeshwa, iqiniso. Ngokuvamile umamazala uphazamisa empilweni yendodana yakhe nomalokazana wakhe, uma umndeni wonke uhlala endlini efanayo noma efulethini. Njengoba bethi, umkhwekazi nomamazala omuhle kakhulu labo abahlala kude, futhi sivame ukuhlangana nabo. Kulokhu kukhona iqiniso.
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi umamazala omuhle, owuthanda kokubili indodana yakhe nomalokazana wakhe bafana, uma uhlanganyela insimu eyodwa naye, akakwazi nje ukusiphazamisa. Ezimweni eziningi, umkhwekazi ukhuphuka ekukhulisweni kwengane, ngoba ngombono wakhe, unolwazi olungenakuqhathaniswa nokukhuliswa kwezingane kunakho nomyeni wakhe. Abanye umkhwekazi bakwenza kuphela ngezizathu ezinhle kakhulu, futhi ngempela uncike ekusizeni nasekusekeleni kwabo. Kodwa kuthiwani uma umamazala akuthola?
Uninazala ukhuphukela empilweni yethu
Kuyini ukuphikisana nokulwa phakathi komalokazana nomamazala? Kulungile, okokuqala, ngomhawu. Kuyaqondakala ukuthi umama unomhawu ngendodana yakhe, ikakhulukazi uma engumntwana kuphela emndenini. Futhi umhawu - isizathu sokuthi uninazala uthatha ubudlelwane nakho konke okusemandleni, unikeza izeluleko eziningi "ezinhle," futhi umalokazana naye unesihawu futhi uzama ukwenza konke ngendlela yakhe.
Ngezinye izikhathi kuvela eqinisweni lokuthi uninazala akavumeli umbhangqwana osemusha ukuba aphile. Kulokhu, ukwehluleka kwakhe kuvame ukubonakala kuphela kumalokazanazana, kodwa indodana yakhe - hhayi ikakhulukazi. Ujwayele umama wakhe futhi akaqapheli ukuthi uphazamisa intombi yakhe ethandekayo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, wayejwayele ukuhlala njalo nonina, ikakhulu uma ngaphambi komshado ehlala nabazali bakhe, hhayi ukuphila okuzimele. Abazali abamphazamisi futhi kunzima ukuba aqonde ukuthi uninazala uphazamisa ukuphila ngokugcwele nokukhululekile kwentombazane yakhe noma umkakhe.
Ungambulala kanjani umkhwekazi wami?
Ake ucabange ukuthi ungumalokazana ompofu, kepha umkhwe wakho uvikela wena ukuba uphile. Ngokwemvelo, ufuna ukwazi ukukhuza umkhwe wakho, umise ithonya lakhe endodaneni yakho futhi uphazamise ubuhlobo bakho. Kusukela kulesi simo, kunendlela eyodwa elula yokuphuma. Nciphisa umkhwekazi wakho! Yiqiniso, hhayi ngomqondo wangempela wezwi. Nciphisa ukulwa nalo. Ukuqeda isizathu sokungenelela kwakhe, ungamvumeli ukuba akutshele ukuthi yini nokuthi ungayenza kanjani. Vumelana nje nomama wakho kukho konke. Bonisa ukuthi awuphazamisi imizamo yakhe yokuthuthukisa impilo yakho kanye nokuphila kwendodana yakhe, bonisa ukuthi ngeke ulwe futhi ubonise ukufaneleka kwakho.
Ngokwemvelo, indlela engcono kakhulu ukuhlala ezindlini ezihlukene noma izindlu, kodwa uma ungeke ukwazi ukuyikhokhela, nansi amanye amathiphu alula.
- Nika umamazana wakho ukuba aqonde ukuthi awuyena umphikisi, kodwa umlingani wakhe nomsizi.
- Ungalokothi ukhulume noma ulahle umamazala wakho nomyeni wakho, ungasho ukuthi uyangena ekuphileni kwethu, ngokuphambene nalokho, ngisho noma engalungile, futhi umyeni wakhe uyazi kahle lokhu, zama ukuvikela nokumhlonipha.
- Thatha iseluleko sabomama bese uzama,
uma kungenzeka, landela, ngoba owesifazane osekhulile ukunikeza ulwazi lwakhe olubalulekile. - Zama ukungabikho ekhishini, uhlanze, ugeze futhi ubeke izinto zakho ngokwakho. Uma unyoko wakho efuna ukusiza - ungenqabe, vele ubekezelele amazwi akhe nezimfundiso zakhe.
- Uma kukhona ukungqubuzana noma ukuphikisana, zama ukuxolisa, noma ngabe uqinisile, ngoba usemncane, futhi mhlawumbe uhlakaniphile.
Ngokulandela le mithetho, futhi nokuqaphela ukuthi uninazala uyindoda efanayo, ngamandla akhe kanye nobuthakathaka, izinzuzo nezingozi, maduze uzofunda ukuyiqonda nokuyihlonipha. Futhi ukuphila kwakho okuhlangene nomyeni wakhe ngeke kuhlaselwe uninazala, kumuntu wakhe uzothola umngane nomeluleki othembekile.