Ngokwezengqondo ze-psychologists, akuyona imbhangqwana ongashadile oyisiqiniseko sokuphikisana nokuhlukunyezwa, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi inani leminyaka edlule kanye nokutholakala kwezingane. Noma kunjalo, wonke owesifazane ufuna ukuthi le nkathazo ihambisane nenyunyana yakhe yomndeni.
Kungani amadoda ashadile ashintsha abesifazane?
Njalo owesifazana ohlala ebhekene nomngani wakhe ukukhwabanisa ufuna ukwazi ukuthi bonke abantu bashintsha nokuthi yiziphi izizathu. Le mibuzo yaphendulwa yizazi zezenhlalo ezazikwazi ukuthola uhlobo lokungathembeki kwamadoda ngokucwaninga eside.
Izizathu eziyinhloko zokuthi kungani indoda ikhohlisa kumkakhe:
- izimo zemvelo. Amadoda amaningi "aya ngakwesobunxele" ngenxa yemvelo yawo yamadoda, okudingekayo ukuqhathanisa abesifazane futhi afune okungcono kakhulu. Ukungathembeki abesilisa okunjalo akuhlangene nhlobo nothando;
- izimo eziyingozi. Amadoda amaningi akhohlisa abafazi bawo lapho behamba ngebhizinisi, eholidini, lapho behamba khona isikhathi eside, emaphakathini e-bachelor. Ukuzizwa ngokukhululeka kwenkululeko, amahomoni wesilisa futhi, ngokuvamile, utshwala, uqeda ukuthembeka komshado;
- isimiso somndeni. Lesi sizathu sivame kokubili ukuphinga kwamadoda nabesifazane. Indoda ehlala nomkakhe iminyaka engu-15, ayisayiqapheli indlela ayeyithande ngayo ngaphambili. Ukuphikisana njalo nokuphila ekhaya kushukumisa kakhulu umuntu ukuba ashintshe;
- ukuma okungokwemvelo. Lesi sizathu kubazali bethu, kodwa, ngeshwa, kuvame ukuphindaphindiwe emphakathini wanamuhla. Uma indoda ishintshile nendoda, khona-ke lona wesifazane kukhona indlela eyodwa kuphela yokuphuma: ukumshiya ngokuvumela lokhu kuphile impilo yakhe.
Bangaki amaphesenti amadoda ashintsha?
Kukholelwa ukuthi amadoda ashintsha kaningi kunabesifazane. Mhlawumbe, kwakuneminyaka engaba ngu-20-30 edlule. Kodwa ngokwezifundo zanamuhla, isithombe sesishintshile ngokuphawulekayo. Kuhle noma kubi, kodwa abesifazane bekhulu lama-21 bathanda ukuya kwesobunxele bangaphansi kwamadoda abo. Ngokuvamile, emadolobheni ahlukene namazwe inani lamadoda nabafazi abangathembekile lihlukile. Indima enkulu kule ndaba idlalwa ngokuziphatha kanye nomthetho.
Ezindaweni zangaphambili ze-CIS, amadoda angama-40% ashadile avame ukushintsha abafazi bawo. Emahhala aseMelika naseYurophu, lesi sibalo sifinyelela ku-45%. Amadoda angama-73% ashadile ashintshe abafazi bawo okungenani kanye. Emazweni ahlala amaSulumane, inani lamadoda angathembeki lincane kakhulu. Ubuqili kulawa mazwe kubhekwa njengesono esikhulu futhi bujeziswe kakhulu ngumthetho.
Uyazi kanjani ukuthi umyeni uyashintsha?
Kukholelwa ukuthi umkakhe uthola izindaba ezithandwayo zomyeni wakhe ngomunye wokugcina. Eqinisweni, lolu lwazi lungamanga, ngoba ukuqonda ukuthi indoda ishintsha kakhulu kumfazi oqaphele.
Izindlela zokuthola ukuthi umuntu uyashintsha yini:
- ukuguqulwa okungaqondakali kokubukeka kanye ne-wardrobe;
- umyeni waqala ukuyeka isikhathi eside emsebenzini;
- umyeni waqala ukuthatha ifoni yakhe ephathekayo egumbini lokugezela futhi ekhuluma ngomsindo wamanzi;
- umyeni wakhe waqala ukuchitha imali eningi ngezindleko ezincane;
- okuthandwa ngumlingani nomculi womlingani wakhe (washeshe waqala ukulalela umculo ongajwayelekile, ukufunda izincwadi ezavame ukudala ukuhleka, njll);
- umyeni wami wayevame ukudiliza imoto, ikakhulukazi kusihlwa nangezimpelasonto.
Owesifazane ngamunye, ngaphambi kokufuna impendulo yombuzo othi "Umuntu uyishintsha kanjani?", Umuntu kufanele acabange ngesilinganiso sokuthembela ebuhlotsheni babo. Ngoba ukubuza ngokweqile nokukhathalela ngokweqile ingxenye yomfazi kungamcasula futhi kuthukuthele oshade naye. Futhi lokhu, njengoba wazi, awunayo impumelelo emihle empilweni yomshado.