"Washadile ngokungenakubekezela" - umthetho wesikole esimnandi noma umcabango wesifazane. Phela, kwamukelwa ukuthi noma yimuphi intombazane efuna ukushada, lokhu kuyilokho okushiwo ukuthi ukhona.
Kungani abesifazane befuna ukushada?
Umbuzo yingakho amantombazane efuna ukushada, asebadala njengezwe, ngakho-ke kube khona izifundo eziningi kule ndaba. Lo mdlalo ubonise imiphumela elandelayo.
- Ekuqaleni (30% wabaphendula) kwavela ukuthi abesifazane bafuna ukwesekwa nokuzethemba esikhathini esizayo. Lokhu kuchazwa kalula nge-physiology - injongo yemvelo yowesifazane ukubeletha ingane, kodwa ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa futhi emva kwalokho owesifazane udinga ukwesekwa komuntu. Yingakho abesifazane abaqaphela isidingo sokuvela kwengane empilweni yabo, ngakho-ke bafuna ukuqinisa ngokusemthethweni ubuhlobo babo.
- Owesifazane othi "Ngifuna ngempela ukushada", kungenzeka ukuthi ufuna emshadweni wothando. Kunoma yikuphi, lokhu kuyimpendulo yesibili ethandwayo (22%) kumbuzo wesifiso sokubopha ifindo. Yiqiniso, ungakwazi ukuphikisa ukuthi ungathanda ngaphandle komshado. Kodwa lolu khetho luvame ukhethwa abesifazane abafuna ukushada "isikhulu", abanalo umuntu othize. Yebo, labo abagcina ubuhlobo obuhlala njalo, bakholelwa ukuthi emshadweni, uthando luthembekile kakhulu.
- Kungani abesifazane befuna ukushada? Ngoba yilokhu okushiwo umphakathi. Omama, ugogo, odadewabo bomngani - bonke baqala ukuzwelana ngenhliziyo nentombazane engashadile, ngisho noma ethi ufuna ukujabulela inkululeko okwamanje. Ngisho nawo wonke amathekisthi kanye nama-ladies 'amanoveli aphela namakhosazana athola izikhulu zawo. Ngakho-ke, ekhanda labesifazane kukhona inkohlakalo - umuntu kufanele alwele umshado ngawo wonke amandla. Lo mbono wabelwe aba-19% abaphenduliwe.
- Kungani amantombazane engashadile engenakulinganiswa? Futhi lapha izizathu zokuhlalisana kwabantu zisola, abangu-18% abaphendulile bathi bakholelwa ukuthi bangaqashelwa kuphela emshadweni. Abanye besaba imibono yomphakathi - abangashadile nelebuli ye-glue yamnandi "ilahlekile".
- Abantu abangaba ngu-5% abasabelayo besaba isizungu - ngokuzumayo lapho bekhulile ingilazi yamanzi ngeke isinikezwe noma ubani.
- Ama-6% asele ayimibono engokoqobo. Amanye amantombazane afuna umshado ngenxa yomgqobo womshado kanye nohambo lomngcwabo, omunye umuntu akafuni ukuhlala nabazali bakhe, futhi omunye ufuna ukuziqhayisa indandatho yamantombazane eminwe.
Ingabe uhlose ukushada ungajabuli, kodwa hhayi ekuqaleni?
Njengoba umbono womphakathi ubumba ukuqonda kwethu, kungaba kuhle ukuthola ukuthi ucabangani ngeminyaka ekahle yomshado.
Naphezu kwesifiso sokushada, abesifazane abaningi bakholelwa ukuthi isikhathi esihle sokushada siyiminyaka engu-25-27. Inhlangano isebenza kahle emshadweni eneminyaka engu-27-35, kodwa abantu bayakhalaza ngabashadile abasha kanye nalabo abazoshada okokuqala ngemuva kweminyaka engama-35.
Uma owesifazane eshada isikhathi eside, umphakathi uzomsola ukuthi ungumuntu ophansi-ngabe wayelokhu efuna umbhangqwana iminyaka eminingi kangaka, akafuni ukushada, kodwa manje uthola ukuthi, ngokuqinisekile, abanye bangaphansi.
Lapho intombazane ithi "Ngineminyaka engu-18 ubudala, ngifuna ukushada", naye angakwazi ukufihla ekubukeni nokulahla. Ikakhulukazi uzwela uzotshela izindaba eziphathelene nabo noma mayelana nentombi, ukuthi wangashada kanjani ekuqaleni.
Ukufingqa, singasho ukuthi ngesikhathi sokushada, owesifazane kufanele athole imfundo, athole umsebenzi, abe nobunikazi obusungulwe. Kodwa okunamandla kakhulu ngomshado nakho akufanele.
Ungamisa kanjani ukufuna ukushada?
Ngezinye izikhathi owesifazane ufuna ukushada kakhulu kangangokuthi kumvimbela ekwakheni ubudlelwane obuvamile nabesilisa - abangenakuvinjelwa umzila ohamba phambili ebunzini labesifazane "Ngithathele ehhovisi lokubhalisa"? Ungaba kanjani kulokhu?
Kudingeka uziqonde wena, ukuqonda ukuthi usho ukuthini ngempela ngomshado - umkhosi omuhle, isimo somphakathi, ukudala umndeni ojabulayo? Ukuze uphendule lo mbuzo kuyadingeka ukuthi le ndoda ayizwa inhloso yakho yokususa inkululeko yakhe, kepha isifiso sakho sokuba ngumfazi okhathalelayo nokwethembeka, ukumnika iqembu lezingane, njll. Uma ufuna iholide, kuzomele udinga wena. Kholwa, uzobe nje ukwazi ukufeza isifiso sakho, ukuthola lowo muntu, uma uqonda ukuthi yini oyidingayo empilweni. Qaphela ukuthi ungaphansi kwamandla ezinkohliso, mhlawumbe awutholi lutho nje ngoba awufuni ngempela, kodwa uzoqhubeka ngabazali nabangani.