Abazali abaningi bajwayele inkinga enjengokwesaba kwezingane, futhi abaningi bafuna impendulo yombuzo wokuthi bangabhekana kanjani nabo? Indlela yokuziphatha nengane ukusiza ngempela, hhayi ukukhulisa isimo?
Yini ebangela ukwesaba kwengane?
Isixazululo kunoma iyiphi inkinga ayinakwenzeka ngaphandle kokuqonda izimbangela zayo. Ngakho okokuqala sizokuthola ukuthi yiziphi izimbangela zokukhathazeka kwengane. Ngakho-ke, ukwesaba kungaba nesifo sangasese, isimo sengqondo noma siphefumlelwe. Ukwesaba okweqile, njengoba igama liphakamisa, likhona emntwaneni ozalelwe futhi lingaphathelene nomuntu konke ukuphila kwakhe. Lapha siyaqaphela ukuthi ukwesaba ngokwayo akusiyo isifo, hhayi isimo somzimba, kodwa indlela yokuzivikela esinikezwe ngokwemvelo. Ingane encane isaba ukuhlala yodwa, ngaphandle komama, ngoba umama uyamnika ukudla nenduduzo lapho ethumela izidingo zemvelo, njll. inikeza konke okudingekayo ekuphileni. Ukwesaba okwenziwe ngokobuzwe ukwesaba kuvezwe ngenxa yokuhlangenwe nakho okubi okuhlangenwe nakho. Isibonelo esilula: ingane eyake yashaywa inja izoyesaba izinja futhi iwadlulele eceleni. Ekugcineni, ukwesaba okuphefumulelwe - sibanika izingane zethu ngokwabo. Isibonelo, uma ingane isondelene kakhulu ezindabeni zokuhlanzeka nokuhlanzeka kwabazali bayo, ingane ibona ukwesaba ukungcola nokungahlambuluki, ngokuvamile ukugeza izandla, ukushintsha izingubo, njll. Futhi, izingxoxo "ezindala" nengane mayelana nokufa, izifo zilimaza ingqondo yengqondo yengane.
Indlela yokubhekana nokukhathazeka kwezingane?
Njengoba sesikuqonde kakade, ukwesaba ngokwayo kuyindlela yokuzivikela eyadingeka ukuze usinde. Ubuza: mhlawumbe, futhi ungalwi nalo? Akudingekile ukulwa, kodwa kuphela lapho ukwesaba kwengane yakho kubonisa ngokwanele isimo, isb. kuyinto impendulo ekusongweni kwenhloso futhi ayibe yinto ephoqelekile. Uma ungomunye walabo bazali abajabulayo abangahlukunyezwa umbuzo othi "kanjani ukunqoba ukwesaba kwezingane", khona-ke ungakwazi nje ukululeka ngesikhathi esifanele ukuvimbela ukwesaba kwengane. Okufanayo: ukugwema izimo ezicindezelayo umntwana, ukuthuthukisa amakhono akhe okuxhumana, ukumnika uthando, uthando nokuqonda.
Uma ukwesaba izingane kuba abangane bakho njalo, bangela izinyembezi njalo, ukwesaba, bese udinga ukuthatha isenzo. Bese kubazali bakwazi ukwenza okuningi. Okokuqala, ukunakekelwa kwengane, okuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe, nokuxhumana okufudumele ngokomzwelo naye kuyosiza lapha. Izindlela ezintathu eziyinhloko zokulwa nokwesaba kwengane kukhona ukuxhumana, ukudala nokudlala.
Ngakho-ke, izindlela ezintathu eziyinhloko zokuqeda ukwesaba okunamandla kwengane zilandela. Into yokuqala nokubaluleke kakhulu ongayenza ukukhuluma nengane ngokumesaba kwakhe. Hlala nomntwana endaweni enokuthula bese umbuza ukuthi yini eyamkhathaza, lokho esaba ngakho, kungani. Kunoma yikuphi ubudala, ingane izobona ngokuqinisekile isifiso sakho sokuxoxisana naye ngale nkinga, futhi, ngokuhlanganyela nakho okuhlangenwe nakho kwayo, kuzokuzizwa eqiniseka kakhulu. Ungamhleki ukwesaba izingane - ingane ingacasulwa, uzolahlekelwa ithemba kuwe futhi esikhathini esizayo ngeke ihlanganyele nawe ngezinkinga ezintsha ezivelayo.
Ukudala kungaba ngumsizi omuhle empini yakho yokulwa nokwesaba kwengane. Ngemva kokukhuluma nengane ngokumesaba kwakhe, mcele ukuthi adonsele. Ngendlela yokudweba, ingane iqala ukuzwa amandla akhe phezu kwesaba, ngakho-ke, ngokwesaba ngokwayo. Umlobi walesi sihloko ukhumbula kahle isiqephu esivela ebuntwaneni bakhe: ukwesaba ngokweqile umfana weqhwa, ngokusikisela kukaMama wayibhala ephepheni - kwaba isidalwa esihle kakhulu, hhayi neze esabekayo (kubalulekile ukusho ukuthi ukwesaba emva kwalesi senzo sokudala kwanyamalala ngokushesha).
Ngaphezu kwalokho, ungakwazi ukuqeda ukwesaba okungafuneki kwengane ngosizo lomdlalo. Isibonelo, umdlalo wendawo owaziwayo usiza izingane ziqede ukwesaba ukuthinta abantu abangabazi ("ibala" - ukuthinta okubukhali, ukushaya okuncane, ukushaya okungenayo imibala enonya).
Uma ungeke unqobe ukwesaba ingane ngokwakho, izindlela ezingenhla, udinga, ngaphandle kokulibaziseka, ukubuyela ochwepheshe. Umsebenzi ofika isikhathi esifanele wesazi sengqondo onokwesaba kwengane uzosiza ukuqeda inkinga ekuqaleni kokuthuthukiswa kwawo, ukuvimbela ukuguqulwa kokwesaba kwengane kumuntu omdala.
Ukwesaba ebusuku kwezingane
Sizohlala kulokhu okwenzekayo, njengezinkathazo zobusuku bebantfwana - mhlawumbe enye yezinhlobo ezinzima kakhulu zokukhathazeka kwengane. Zihlukumeza ukulala nokuvuka komndeni wonke, kubangele ukwesaba kwabazali, okuphinde kuhanjiswe kumntwana. Kunombuthano ononya, lapho kunzima khona ukuphuma. Ngesikhathi sobusuku ukwesaba, ingane (ngokuvamile kaningi eneminyaka engu-2-5) emahoreni amathathu okuqala ubusuku ilele ngokuzumayo ivuse ngokukhala okukhulu nokukhamuluka. Lapho ezama ukuthatha izingalo zakhe futhi ezolile, uyazikhandla, azibophezele ngesigqoko.
Into esemqoka - khumbula ukuthi uthando lomzali luyakwazi ukwelapha noma yikuphi ukwesaba kwengane. Yiba umngane wengane yakho futhi ube naye, ngoba nomngane - akukho lutho olwethusayo!